More shit that doesn't merit its own thread (septic tank overflow alert)

[Jim]

@The shit that does merit its own thread

My five year old daughter did a fucking massive shit yesterday. It’s hard to guess the exact length, partly due to the refractive nature of water, but about 10cm stuck above the water and easily 25cm below. It was so majestic that I decided to look up large intestine sizes for kids, and hers is likely to be 73cm long, so basically she shat out half her colon. It’s equivalent to an adult doing an 80cm turd. It was a proud father day, for sure.

@Mrs_Maureen_OPinion

1980s dinner party with an ex’s sister and bil, interrupted during the main course by their pantless toddler wielding his plastic potty, excitedly shrieking “SNAKE! SNAKE! SNAKE!”.

The brute must have comprised ~20% of the lad’s entire body mass, or he ate the Tardis (Turdis)… Woulda Hi5’d him, but I knew where his hands had been…