Cunt
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Aye
What are those wisps of green stuff on your dinner Pete? A micro salad? Good lad, everything in moderation, especially the salad.
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Those burnt ends deserve their own fucking Michelin star
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‘Micro salad’ lol. Well it is a hipster pub. (But they sell Camden Pale Ale, which is fucking epic).
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You b’stards.
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Ha ha ha
If it’s any consolation, the ladies serving it are too young for Pete
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Is that a whole bottle of gin you have to yourself there Adam?
Sadly just decorative…
What, the gin or the serving ladies? 
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In your case, both.
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Not at all envious here. B’strd ! 
For my birthday, baked by Flo & Al - chocolate vinyl cake…
…although I fear the record might be slightly too warped to play! 
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Nice, they made you a wonky (but highly delicious looking) cake to go with your wonky turntable…
Not jealous at all, I had a stale fig roll with my after dinner cuppa 
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are the platters counter rotating? Seems to be missing the full quota of candles though… mind you, I suppose that many candles would constitute a fire risk.
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10 candles and a 60W globe ?