“And I’m not even joking!”
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“What does that even mean?!”
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It’s only 9.33am and so far I’ve heard ‘Going forward’ 3 times at work…sigh…
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Are you around the fork lifts?
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I do hear ‘This vehicle is reversing’ quite a bit.
For you or the fork lifts?
It’s me, usually when I’m backing up to trap number one 
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slightly more information than required
Or is it trap number two 
?
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I’ve always wondered. Is there a convention on “trap numbering”?
Left to right, right to left, at random? 
Left to right makes sense to me 
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While seated or entering?
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Always from the left when entering…
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Like escalators. These are numbered from the bottom, left to right. Regardless of direction of travel.
There have to be rules, man.
you engineers, always precise 
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‘Wow factor’ - This may be a pet hate but I have found people who say ‘Wow factor’ also have a high ‘Cunt factor’
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’ You’ll love this ', ’ You’d have loved that '. Oh no I wouldn’t, on principle alone if nothing else you presumptuous twat.
’ I know how you feel ', absolute bollocks, unless of coarse I’m groping you.
’ I feel your pain ', so we’re sharing identical emotions or pain receptors, some trick that one.
“To die for” 
Anything or anyone that ‘ticks all the boxes’ can be nailed into a crate and buried at sea.
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“Investors In People”
Not from where I am sat.
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