The all-new shiny cockpunch thread

Nightmare Stu. Pleased that you’re OK though.

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Cheers, I am thankful for the soft bonnet of a modern car. No injuries; although the car’s bonnet was dented and scratched.

Cunt fucked off pretty quickly.

:man_facepalming:

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I’m sure there must be a couple of grands worth of miscellaneous aches and pains?

:joy: It happened right under a very well monitored part of town. Hitting a pedestrian on a crossing and driving off is likely to be an expensive (enough) day out for the silly bugger… Was about twelve from what I can remember…

Edited in brackets …:sunglasses:

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Fuck. Hope you’re ok and well enough for Friday Club :pray:

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For sure; I jumped up. If I hadn’t, then it would have been a slightly different story, I think…

Driving a car at people is a bad look. I hope I don’t see that person again!

Any witnesses?

:open_mouth: Have you checked to see you don’t have a target on your back Stu!?

Glad you’re OK, but just Fucking Hell!

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Jesus. Glad you’re ok mate.

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Oh fuck yes. Loads. Thing is, I just needed to get home and get food and have a piss… A couple of dents and a scratch is his penalty.

The crowd were good. Ive had worse TBH …:sunglasses:

I think we’re about to find out if the ambulance chasers are monitoring the AA

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Thing is, despite a couple of pints on board, I was able to jump up. Landed about halfway up the fucking bonnet! Couldn’t quite believe it at the time…

Propa ninja innit

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:joy: :joy: :joy: Agile as fuck when necessary! Didn’t want to break my (fucking expensive) umbrella or scuff my boots…

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Well, they’re obviously the important things.

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It really was quite odd. Bloke got on the gas where all proper drivers would stop and wait. Was a surprisingly cunty thing to do.

I’ve not seen that sort of thing before, let alone experienced it!

No injuries though. That’s the main thing.

(edit) if it was an SUV, it would have fucking hurt .

Charitably, you might hope it was incompetence in stamping on the wrong pedal…

But it’s hard not to consider worse options - the fact he fled the scene certainly suggests both panic and something amiss (drink, drugs, nicked motor, single-digit IQ, &c)…

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Yes, although the crowd didn’t seem impressed. The ‘driver’ seemed young. I can’t help but wonder if drink of coke was involved, TBH… My neighbour monitors CCTV there amd seemed interested, so hopefully it will be looked at!

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Glad you’re ok Stu.

Stupid question but did you reported it to the cops ? At the very least he could be done for failing to stop and the scene of an accident.

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