The return of shit joke thread (incorporating the humour toilet) and mainly reposts of reposts of reposts


#1174

I’ve just had a new thesaurus delivered from eBay. On opening it I found all the pages were blank.
I have no words to describe how angry I am.


#1175

IMG_20180320_113802


#1176

Pretty much sums up the Torygraph. Written by cunts, for, cunts and about cunts. Beggars belief what an utter rag that paper is.


#1177

#1178

Sadly, probably, stable, horse, bolt, door


#1179

This. Not sure that artificial insemination would be feasible. Likely to be fucking dangerous to find out.

Anyway, I didn’t think looming extinction was something to laugh about.


#1180

^^^^^this


#1181

:confounded:


#1182

The bottom of the barrel is fast approaching :face_with_raised_eyebrow:


#1183

Fuck, i actually smiled :frowning_face:


#1184

I apologise for that. I was aiming for the maggoty earth that the bottom of the barrel usually stands upon.


#1185

Your ambition is admirable, however your execution is merely adequate :upside_down_face:


#1186

Amazing that I could underachieve with a joke that shit. Oh well…


#1187

I tried to sue the airline for misplacing my luggage. – I lost my case.


#1188

Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day.

Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.


#1189

I thought mine was bad, that is weapons-grade dross!

I surrender. Please stop…

:smiley:


#1190

We’re now excavating underneath the barrel - shuttering is in place, and I fully expect to hit the water table before the night is out…


#1191

image

Here ya go @Mrs_Maureen_OPinion, this’ll moisten yer gusset.


#1192

Fuck me, start building the cofferdam :roll_eyes:


#1193

Disqualified I’m afraid. That is just some words on a black background. Even the most easily pleased red-necked simpleton can find no toehold for flickering spasms of amusement here…