The return of shit joke thread (incorporating the humour toilet) and mainly reposts of reposts of reposts

[Professor_Chaos]

I heard a man at the beach yelling “Help, shark!”, but I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.

[htm_1968]

My wife accused me of being a transvestite, I was so outraged that I packed her things and left…

[AmDismal]

[gthang]

I actually found that funny.

[malbec]

I was told that by a taxi driver in Dublin about 5 years ago.

[maverick]

[charliechan]

[Professor_Chaos]

[mickbald]

[AmDismal]

[chelseadave]

[Beobloke]

I went to a fancy dress party at the weekend dressed as an oven, and was surprised to see my mate there, also dressed as an oven.

I said to him “I though you were coming as a parrot?”

“No” he replied, “I said i was coming as a cooker, too”.

[Jim]

Lesbians are all win

[crimsondonkey]

[stu]

The boss of Dulux paints has died of hypothermia while trekking across the Antarctic.
Medics say he needed a second coat.

[Waxy]

Was he called Matt?

[stu]

Kilroy-Silk

[MJ2]

I think they’ve glossed over the facts

[htm_1968]

@MJ2

I think they’ve glossed over the facts

Keep that up and @browellm will have an aneurysm and @coco will have a melt down.

[Waxy]

They don’t have the palette for it.