The return of shit joke thread (incorporating the humour toilet) and mainly reposts of reposts of reposts

That’s a crazy size difference!

There might be some photoshop involved.

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Or he used his lightning bolt…

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As the UK faces a Cypriot cheese shortage, conspiracy theorists blame the hallouminati.

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Oof :anguished:

The mrs came back from the doctors with a big smile on her face
“Why are you so happy?” I asked her.
“The doctor told me that for a 60 year old woman, I have a 21 year olds breasts” she said.
“Oh yeah” I said “Well what did he say about your 60 year old arse?”

“Your name never came up in conversation”

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Destination: Germany.

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Thanks olan, I was struggling for a link to the thread that showed it.


:slightly_smiling_face:
According to that E=MC, seems like a typo to me.

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as in M != matter

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Driving home yesterday evening, I stopped and picked up a hitchhiker.
He seemed a little surprised and asked why I would do that. “I could be a serial killer, or something,” he said.

I told him the chances of two serial killers being in the same car were astronomically small.

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???

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= 1/(astronomically large)

VB

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I’m A February :thinking:

One evening, after the honeymoon, Tom was working on his motorbike in the garage. His new wife was standing there by the bench watching him. After a long period of silence she finally said, “I’ve just been thinking, now that we’re married, maybe it’s time you think about spending less of your time out here. You probably should also consider selling your bike and all your welding equipment along with your fishing gear, the boat and get rid of all those stupid model planes, plus dump that vintage sports car and your home brewing equipment …”

Tom had a horrified look on his face.

She said, “Darling, what’s wrong?"

He replied, “There for a minute, you were starting to sound like my ex-wife."

“Ex-wife!?” she screamed, “YOU NEVER TOLD YOU’D BEEN MARRIED BEFORE!"

Tom replied, “I haven’t…"

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