Only in Glasgow …We pulled upto the petrol station to get a few munchies 
When I walked up I noticed two coppers watching a woman smoking a cigarette, while filling up 
I saw her & thought “what an idiot…with the coppers standing right there too”
I went in & got my snacks and as I was paying I heard someone screaming! 
I looked outside & the woman’s arm was on fire!!! 
️:frowning:️
She was swinging her arm & running around going ballistic!! I rushed outside to help & the coppers had put her on the ground & we’re putting the fire out with their coffee’s!!!
Then, they put handcuffs on her & threw her in the police car. I was thinking “she shouldn’t have been smoking & pumping petrol!” But being the nosey person that I am, I asked them what they were arresting her for? 
The coppers looked me dead in the eye & said “WAVING A FIREARM AROUND!”
In the next software upgrade (nuke event) can I request a dislike button.
It was about an hour after I posted this that I read the news about the poor Downs syndrome person being shot in Sweden which used the same comment at the end.
Sorry for the bad taste here.
It wasn’t in reference to any sort of bad taste, I was just joking that it was a shit joke of which you are not alone in this thread.
Mick, I really can’t think of anyone here who would be less likely to intentionally drop a bollock like that.
It is a pretty shit joke though, so it’s absolutely been posted in the correct place.
The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were three finalists: two men and a woman.
For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.
“We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill her.”
The man said "You can’t be serious. I could never shoot my wife “.
The agent said,” then you are not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home ".
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for five minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, “I tried, but I can not kill my wife.”
The agent said, “you do not have what it takes, so take your wife and go home”
Finally , it was the woman’s turn. She was given the same instructions to kill her husband.
She took the gun and went into the room. Shots heard were one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, and banging on the walls.
After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping sweat from her brow…
“The gun was loaded with blanks” she said. “I had to kill him with the chair”
Have you system restored to the start of the internet?
In progress 
Nothing to do with me, I swear.