My five year old daughter did a fucking massive shit yesterday. It’s hard to guess the exact length, partly due to the refractive nature of water, but about 10cm stuck above the water and easily 25cm below.
It was so majestic that I decided to look up large intestine sizes for kids, and hers is likely to be 73cm long, so basically she shat out half her colon. It’s equivalent to an adult doing an 80cm turd.
Been there, tho it was a skanky pub bog sprayed in wd40 to stop the coke heads doing lines on the cistern.
I’d scored a dodgy one and 1 pint later I’m conning up with my bowels going down.
I relived the trainspoting scene, literally shitting Niagara falls for 30 minutes. I could hear people gagging as they took a piss outside the stall.
Finally finished and discovered a lack of TP, socks it was.
Spent the rest of the night tripping my tits off with a ring like a 1000 degree wizards sleeve and fucking cold feet.