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I NEED a sweary terrier! 
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We all know His Holiness has just blattered his nappies in that pic and his bodyguard’s gagging cos he’s gotta change him…
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A mate has 2 tickets for the England v Spain game Sunday.
He paid £360 each, including flights but he didn’t realise when he bought them months ago that it was going to be the same day as his wedding. 
If you’re interested, he is looking for someone to take his place.
It’s at Guildford Registry Office, at 3pm. The bride’s name is Sarah, she’s 5’7" & quite attractive.
Come on England! 
⚽
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Scroll up (about 2 years 
)
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Fixed that for you.
Could probably find that joke scrawled on the back of Noah’s Ark.
3 Likes
Happy to be of service 
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Thankfully I’ll be out at a gig tonight
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I was telling my mate how I bought a bottle of vodka at 40% ABV, a bottle of gin at 45% and a bottle of absinthe at 80%.
He remarked that the average was 55% ABV, which I thought was very mean spirited.
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