As there seems to be an inordinate amount of talented Abbattoirists, I feel it my duty stick up for those of us (or maybe it’s just me) who are fucking useless at just about everything.
My one saving grace however is I am good at drinking wine - which in my mind at least - makes up for the lack of any other talents.
DIY, plumbing, anything electrical, car maintenance, operating a mobile phone, satisfying a sexual partner, talking to poeple without them losing the will to live etc, etc are all way too difficult for me.
I’d try suicide but no doubt I’d fail at that as well.
I’m fucking awesome at trolling football threads though.
I’m rubbish at drinking wine these days. I can just about manage Yorkshire Tea, but that is so useless a skill as to be hardly worth mentioning. When I was yellow I used to be very good at hiding in a field of daffodils. Now I am back to my normal colour I am useless at even that.
In fact, I only display excellence in my abject and utter uselessness. I feel this is something to be very proud of.
Dropped the wheel on it as I was putting it back in car.
I shall very short telling my manager that I shall be staying at home with my feet up. He likes it when I tell him that.
I’ve tried to be good at selling old hifi gear but continue to fail at that. Everything else I range from meh to shite. Apart from making porridge. I like porridge.
I am useless at solving the complexities of the universe. I started out with 2a + b = x and still haven’t expanded on this as a proof of the Big Bang theory.
That and Bridge, apparently “fuck off you stupid cunt” isn’t a recognised form of gameplay in Bridge