Lolz
Todayās nominee is my neighbour, Captain Leafblower.
Every bloody Sunday heās out there for an hour making a hell of a racket blowing all the leaves off his drive and onto everyone elseās.
He really might as well stand in the middle of the estate screaming āFUCK YOUā at anyone who passes by.
Then an hour later they all the leaves blow back where they came from.
Buy a broom, you twat.
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set up some of these on the border of your garden with a remote switch connected to Alexa. Then when Mr blower starts, you just need to say āAlexa blow the fuckers backā
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Suggest one of these
And one of these
Never understood leaf blowers as they donāt actually solve anything. I have 4 large trees in my front garden (oaks) and they drop a lot of leaves. I use my petrol mower to hoover them all up and then put them in the green bin, not fucking complicated.
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I do the same as would any other fucker with half a brain.
Thereās a retired twat with garden blower a few doors away, its laughable watching him.
My next door neighbours idiot son has a leaf blower and visits and pushes the leaves around for a couple of hours every month or so. He is the same idiot who uses a chainsaw to cut a bush and managed to cut through the vines in my garden that never actually go into my neighbours garden. Twat.
The one Iāve got vacuums rather than blows and sucks them through a plastic blade which chops and compacts them.
Donāt have a green bin here and the garden waste bag the council provides is smaller than one of those fucking bags for life which they then charge Ā£5 per month to collect.
Compost heap required 
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Needs Astro turf
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Fucking neighbours who go out knowing they have 300 boxes being delivered from Amazon.
Itās every fucking Sunday you cunts.
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Expensive, Iām happy enough to look at dead grass.
If I could be arsed (or willing to spend the money) Iād just do the whole garden out with decking.
Why donāt you rake and bag the leaves and lob then over the fence while they are out
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Wouldnāt be so bad if one of those 300 boxes contained a thank you for looking after them.
We collect post for a neighbour who spends a lot of time in France and we always get chocolates and/or a bottle of wine for the trouble.
Why do you think there are so many fucking leaves in my garden.
Itās always giant boxes of pampers (theyāve just had a sprog) and I can see the amazon driver puts a card through the door but they never come over to collect and I end up having to carry them across the road a few days later.
Today I told the delivery driver no.
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Whereās the tent?
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Itās camouflaged.
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Very well too, it would appear.
Or not appear.
Like what youāve done there, made good use of the space available.
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