Yet another thread for the purposes of awarding a cockpunch


to distract from the feelings of anger and embarrassment, I suggest wearing one of these to the party

for some reason Amazon has just offered to sell me one as a black Friday deal.


“Lovely dear, I’ll stay in, listen to some tunes and get utterly off my face while you go out and have a lovely time. Lovely.”


If that’s a male sex toy, why does it have 2 cocks, spaced and angled just right for a womans holes?


Fucking hope not.


Don’t get too technical.


Couldn’t be bothered typing anus and vagin




So your much smaller mate can climb on too ? I’m sure there are even more imaginative ideas …







Not quite :grin: but MUCH more expensive.

Imagine making a panelled door for a specific door frame in really costly materials. You spend a week making it then come to fit the door only to find you have made the door too short by an inch and too wide by half an inch. Pass the door up and there is a gap at the bottom. Pass the door down and fill the top, if you are accurate enough no-one will see the join and besides you can widen the jamb. The same can be said for the horizontal plane. Trouble is, all of the panels are now out of proportion. This goes some way to explain but not quite…

I basically made three mistakes, all of which would be alter-able if made independently but the three together means adjust one and one or both of the others get worse. A triumvirate of doom. Too many ugly compromises - I would never leave the house in it.

It hurt like hell but I’m over it now. I’m going to order more cloth and start again. Bits of it are salvageable.


I get it mate, I have a fire bin for my scrapped stuff and it fucking hurts when it doesn’t pan out.


£374 per household in higher bills, the cunts.

If ever there was a pointless and useless project it is this, along with HS2.


and this “It also pointed out an unknown percentage of first generation meters may need replacing as they cannot be upgraded to stop them “going” dumb” when people switch to a better deal. " is actually a big lie if they had mandated a single model = no issue (like Sweden and Italy did before us)
BUT big energy companies lobbied for them to choose their own incompatible meters, obviously to disincentive switching
this project was a car crash from day 0 as there is no business case for this


EU mandate we signed up for, along with a lot of other things. It’s not the EUs fault the Gov’t are a bunch of tossers under the influence of big companies.


Elisa Allen, director of PETA for this…


They have a lot of form for this kind of shit; I can only assume they do it purely for newspaper headlines these days.


Is the Winter over? April 1st already, better get my shorts out.


My neighbour who isn’t the sharpest looked into oblivion when I tried to tell her that new smart meter won’t be smart if she changes provider, really couldn’t grasp that its tied in.

My other hate is the advert suggesting all the energy saved, how the fuck do they save energy? You see the meter fly up when the hairdryer goes on, what are you gonna do , tell her to go out with wet hair?? Can’t have toast, it makes the meter spin, get the fuck out of here!!


This is my argument. If you already switch shit off when you’ve finished with it, then watching a meter move changes nothing.
It’s designed for numpties who have no idea that leaving every house light on and TV/radios on upstairs when there’s no-one about, uses unnecessary power.

It’s a Guilt Machine :+1: