“And they’re coming, whether we like it or not. And they’ll be on our doorstep sooner, not later.”
Gotta love Fox News 
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Lol, that’s pure Monty Python 
This should be another one for all the family
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Using frozen green beans instead of ice in your gin and tonic is not recommended.
If you were proper St Albans, it would have been asparagus or mange tout…
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Had my first ever ‘altercation’ on a golf course today.
So much so that I am writing an email now.
That will teach you to tap dance on the 8th green
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Don’t worry. There’s help. Admitting that you have a problem is the first step.
http://www.golf-hypnotist.com/golf-hypnotist-store/anger-management-for-better-golf/
Unless it was the Club Secretary. In which case you’re screwed.
VB
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I guess you never showered after your gym session?
you’re not meant to piss in them little holes or do a doughnut on the 18th green in your buggy
better than fish fingers
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Slow playing, shit flinging gibbons. Wearing shit clothes to boot.
No wonder they got angry with you with that list of misdemeanours !
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Quite pleased with this.
Hello David,
Please accept my apologies for writing this note as I know you have your hands full on a regular basis.
However, I would like to bring to your attention, and formally place on record, my frustration with two members who were playing in front of us today.
Myself and Peter XXXXX were off at 1.16 and this sorry tale concerns the two ball directly ahead of us.
Their play was horrifically slow to the point where we were teeing off on the 15th and they were on 16th tee ready to go. We played the 15th (poorly as per normal) and got to 16th tee box.
One of the group ahead was still visible, even after all this time, on the right, so we waited.
And we waited.
And still we waited, enjoying the mid afternoon sunshine and the odd middle-aged unexplained shooting pain. The group behind us were up on the green sinking putts left right and centre and still we waited.
Eventually, no player in front was visible (a rough estimate of around 5 or 6 mins) and no bell had sounded, so we decided to tee off as we wanted to at least finish before the bar closed.
Peter took the ‘Tiger Line’ on the right, resulting in centre of the fairway. I however, decided on a more cautious approach and hit towards the left. I ended up just past the filled in bunker on the left. As we crested the hill the bell sounded, and it had an sarcastic tone to it.
We had to wait again until the green was free, and I used this time wisely to select the best club that would allow me to miss the green and then proceeded to miss the green.
When I eventually did land on the green and was lining up my 30ft putt from the fringe a sarcastic heckle of ‘thanks for nearly hitting me with your tee shot, you have no etiquette’ was unleashed towards me.
I went to speak and explain that had I known he was within range I would not have teed off
and in 6 years of membership I have become adept at shouting ‘Fore’ and indeed my warning cries have become things of legend. I explained that not everyone rings the bell and enough time had passed ( the length of time we took to play the 15th plus the additional time we waited on tee until they were no longer visible) to be out of range of even my most dangerous tee shot… a thinned hook.
Cutting this torrid tale to the chase, the point of writing this note is
a) to ensure my reputation is maintained and not be-smirched by being potentially labelled a dangerous or aggressive player.
b) to ask if new players/members are made aware of course management when they pick up cards ie, it is competition day be aware of quicker groups etc.
c) I haven’t forgotten your radiators.
Hope your game is on the up.
Kind regards
ps It may well have been Peters tee shot that caused this issue as this was the only hole he actually managed to outdrive me. In which case a strongly worded e-mail to him from the Chairman highlighting his dangerous and aggressive play would be a good starting point.
Stuart
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Sarcastic bell tone?
Yes. They rang it much louder and for longer than a normal ring. Plus, they could see us behind them so no need to ring the fucker.
Golf cunts.
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