I got a letter about the renewal of my car insurance 2 days ago and promptly went on Go Compare for a cheaper quote as I do every year and low and behold my renewal quote was £100 cheaper!
I moved from Hartlepool to Fetlar and duly informed my insurance company (and the policy was also due for renewal)
her: Oh thank you for letting us know Mr Macklam, there will be a change in your premium.
me: Oh dear, really?
her: Yes, we are reducing your premium by £108
me: Thankyouverymuch
Result 
Who’s going to nick a car when you can only get off the island once a week?
LOL, minimum of five ‘off-island’ ferries a day in winter, more on the summer timetable which starts next week 
You can’t say you weren’t warned.
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I wonder if it eats spaghetti?
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Hoops or Alphabetti?
Only straight from the tree.
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Probably just a passage migrant, on its way to Antarctica
Shit, Naim won’t be far behind!
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He should really have a National Trust green, half timbered Morris Minor.
I like this bit: Yellow cars come in every shade from “viper yellow” to “lemon yellow”, but Vauxhall has said it is considering renaming the colour of the yellow Corsa to “Maddox yellow” in support of the pensioner.
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Bar Italia FTW.
Bar Biturates FTW
Bah Humbug FTW
Bar Bar Bar Anne FTW
I was meant to be going to visit our kid in Kent tomorrow. I was going to help him build a wood store and clear out some stuff from his various lofts, and test his new pizza oven and drink a shit load of beer.
He called me yesterday and said “stuff all the work shit, I’ve rented a house in Cornwall for the week, it’s near the sea, and has a fantastic pub 400 yards away. Bring the kids and a good bottle of gin…”
I love my big brother. 
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The best bit is, Claire decided to not take this week as leave, and was taking the piss that I was going to be working harder than she was…
And now I’m having an actual, proper holiday, and she’s stuck in her office marking, doing lesson plans and trying to chase up a load of students who are desperately behind on their coursework. 
I’m going to text her a picture of every single pint and pub lunch…
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