Ftfy.
Itâs the technological version of a dog - it makes you go for a walk, whether you want to or not. You get to visit graveyards, playgrounds and dogging sites; some of these are more suitable for wankathons than others.
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Driving to Darlington to watch rugby
Shopping for LPs. 
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Your story flip flops more than Trump. First youâre medically incapable of masturbating. Youâve never wanked in your life. In fact, whatâs wanking? You donât even have a penis. Itâs just a vestigal nub. Even if you did know what masturbating was you donât even have hands. Then all of a sudden your story is you in fact took a tour of the most inappropriate public places in town, all the while strutting around rubbing your cock for all to see. You also apparently used your family-free time to go dogging 
I went cycling myself, pervert
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Jet washing out the wheelie bins. Then having a long hot shower.
Now going to the beach to have a picnic with the grandchildren.
In the clean wheelie bin perhaps�?
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Make sure you drill holes in the base so all the stinky sludge runs into next door neighbours path
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Is it Darlington? I was assuming it was the Etihad.
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Second half of the 20th Century and the first two decades of 21st Century if Darlington hasnât changed much since I visited there last.
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Nope
Darlington Mowden Park, about 300 in a 20,000 stadium.
The rugby club own it and rent it to the football club.
Driving instruction, Zero Dad points attained
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One thing I will say about Darlington. Be careful if youâre on a lads night out there.
Iâve drank in some of the biggest dives in the North-East and usually felt reasonably comfortable doing so, but Darloâ is different. Some nasty bastards who can start a war over nothing. The âbouncersâ turn a blind eye to most of it too (or even join in)
Tread carefully.
Looks great, where is it?
Burnham on sea
