So sorry to hear this mate; condolences,
stopped me in my tracks, in the midst of life etc.
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Gosh, so sorry to hear that mate. My condolences.
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My condolences Ritchie.
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Iām sorry to hear this. Went through it a couple of years ago & it hurt. Was your relationship with him good?
I realise heād pretty much set you off on your career. That seems to have been a very worthwhile thing to have done on its own never mind all of the other parental things.
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Fuck, really sorry to hear that.
Hard to say if our relationship was good to be honest. He sent me to posh schools when I was young and put a lot of pressure on me to succeed. I didnāt and for a long time he really resented that. I went to work with him because I had to do something and he wouldnāt give me pocket money unless I earned it, so I had already been in and around his workshop for some time. I didnāt much like working with him but he semi-retired when I was 19 and moved to Norfolk.
I didnāt know what to do to earn a crust, so got a job in a factory on a sewing machine. I started doing night classes at the LCF and met a guy there that had an apprenticeship in Savile Row. I pretty much doorstepped a few of the companies until I got in and then the old man said that I was wasting my time on an anachronistic trade and shouldnāt bother. I was so incensed, I decided there and then that not only was I going to keep on with it but I was going to get better at it than him. I achieved that a while ago and for quite some time afterwards I thoroughly enjoyed rubbing his nose in it. He was really very envious and even recently he randomly made a remark with this snarl on his face, āyou are very clever arenāt you?ā and that how he had never been able to be like that.
He definitely inspired me but not in a conventional, positive way. I donāt resent it like I used to because I recognise that he drove me to be driven myself and my old man was one of the hardest working men I have ever seen. It made you feel ill to watch him! 
Our relationship was a bit old fashioned and fucked up I think!
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What did you ever learn about his relationship with his father?
Awful news Ritchie. My thoughts are with you and your family.
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Condolences to you, Ritchie.
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Fathers and sons can be like that, even if neither of them really wants it. But our dads play such an important part in our lives when weāre at our most impressionable (tot, teenager ā¦) that when they finally go it can move our whole world. The movement can also take a while to sink in, and there can be some unexpected feelings on the journey. Take those in your stride - theyāre all allowed. In the meantime weāre all thinking of you.
Graeme
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Oh no, my sincere condolences Ritchie, my thoughts are with you and yours.
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Sorry for your loss Ritchie - itās hard to lose close family when you love them, itās differently hard to lose them when you donāt - and thereās every shade in-between, however ambivalently you feel. Life is too short for regret, and guilt is a pointless indulgenceā¦ You turned out to be a pretty amazing bloke, and I suspect in his curmudgeonly āI didnāt get my own wayā manner he knew it well enough. He had a lot to be proud of, it was always up to him to embrace it or not. Hold on to the good times.
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Oh fuck.
Here goesā¦ My grandfather was head cutter at Simpsons of Piccadilly circa 1940 and my dadās brother Raymond was also there. (Huge factory in Stoke Newington employing 2,500 people basically bespoke suits on a huge scale.) My Grandfather pretty much ignored my dad and Raymond was the golden boy. One night during an air raid in 1941 My grandfather and uncle Ray were killed by a bomb that landed in their street whilst waiting outside to go to the communal shelter at the end of their terrace. My father, after crawling out of the wreckage of their house found the pair of them in several pieces.
At the funeral the governor of the company gave my dad a job aged 14 ābecause you have to look after your motherā and he could never live up to the excellence of his dad and brother.
God knows what I am doing to my own sonā¦
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Condolences - I had a pretty poor relationship with Dad who died 18 month ago - He never had a word of praise for me even when I has decent successes - He was expert at finding fault. Like your dad he did have to work hard earning a crust for us all to survive when we were young. His Dad was a very kind man and I donāt really know why he needed to always be so hard on us three kids. For all his faults he was present and did actually just about cough up to raise us. Typically I was the last child in my secondary school year to be given long trousers.
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Does he know heās loved absolutely and unconditionally for himself? Rhetorical question, but when the answerās yes, then you have done every last morsel you can ever really do - the rest they sooner-or-later work-out for themselves, or they donāt, but either way thatāll be up to them, not youā¦
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I hope so! I wouldnāt know at the moment to be honest, he can never be dragged away from the PlayStation!
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Thank you very much guys, for allowing me to kick over the traces a bit 
Firstly condolences rich, loss is loss and most things that could be resolved canāt be now. I pretty much rowed with my dad till I could get away from him at 12 , we didnāt speak for 15 years, thankfully heās not the person I thought he was. Now I can see how strangely alike we are. Iām glad Iāve had the time.
Like most things, focus on the good and the rest will eventually sort itself out in the head.
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Lost my Mum this time last year. It was not unexpected. I was sanding and sealing the floorboards in our hallway when my sister rang with the news. I told Jackie and went back to finish the first coat on the floor. Woke in the night and couldnāt sleep so put on another coat of sealant on the floor. It was all a bit surreal.
She and I didnāt get on, but she didnāt really get on with many all her life, a character trait that her Alzheimerās disease exacerbated. I found myself thinking about her very fondly these last few days, having roboted my way through the funeral etc.
Cantankerous old bag, but she did her best for all of us. I reckon that is all you can really try to do. Even if you fuck it up, at least try your bestā¦
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so sorry to hear and brilliant you can talk it over on aa .
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