Yet another thread for the purposes of awarding a cockpunch

[BobC]

This lot

Just in case you thought the EDL were dead and buried it would appear they are live and well on the terraces.

[spacehopper]

God help them if they travel to Russia for the World Cup with England - they will be truly pulverised which would be a real shame.

[Rob998]

Women (and it is always women) who can’t, or more accurately, won’t, take instruction.

Claire and I are off work this week. Normally we’d try and get away, but apparently we’re a bit skint. So naturally, rather than having a quiet week doing cheap stuff like taking the dog to the beach and so on, Claire has decided to decorate the hall, stairs and landing. So off to B&Q she’s trotted and spunked a couple of hundred on paint and associated thingies. Whatever, if it keeps her happy.

Anyway whilst she was there I asked her to get, and I quote verbatim: “The cheapest tube of translucent silicone sealant they have.” pretty clear instruction I would have thought, no room for making mistakes or vacillating there…

So of course I get a phone call:
“They have loads of sealants, which one do you need?” sigh
"The cheapest translucent silicone sealant they have"
" They have window sealant, door sealant, bathroom…" etc, etc, etc
"Doesn’t matter what it says it’s for, just get me the cheapest translucent etc"
“they have acrylic”
“No, I need silicone”
"But there’s loads, do you need anti fungal?"
at this point I’m starting to get pissed off, but I know if I give any sign of it, things will go downhill very quickly. So very calmly and with very flat intonation I tell her:
“Claire, I just need what I asked you to get. I don’t need anything special, I just need the cheapest translucent silicone they have”
“there’s no need to be like that about it, I am trying to help you”
“I’m not being anything about anything, will you please just get me what I asked for”
"The cheapest is £6.49!!!, what do you want it for?"
Very slowly and deliberately.:
“A couple of little jobs, I need to fix something on the Ducati and seal around where the leather and the sole of my dog walking boots join, they’re leaking.”
“well you need exterior sealant for that then, thats £9.99.”
“No I don’t, I just need any old stuff, it’ll be fine…”
"It won’t work, you need the outdoor stuff."
at this point I lost it a little bit:
“FFS, just get the fucking cheap stuff please, that’s all I fucking need.”
“Fuck you, if you’re going to be like that about it you can get your own fucking sealant, you twat…”

Ho hum.

[freefallrob]

[coco]

@Rob998

Women (and it is always women) who can’t, or more accurately, won’t, take instruction.

Claire and I are off work this week. Normally we’d try and get away, but apparently we’re a bit skint. So naturally, rather than having a quiet week doing cheap stuff like taking the dog to the beach and so on, Claire has decided to decorate the hall, stairs and landing. So off to B&Q she’s trotted and spunked a couple of hundred on paint and associated thingies. Whatever, if it keeps her happy.

Anyway whilst she was there I asked her to get, and I quote verbatim: “The cheapest tube of translucent silicone sealant they have.” pretty clear instruction I would have thought, no room for making mistakes or vacillating there…

So of course I get a phone call:
“They have loads of sealants, which one do you need?” sigh
“The cheapest translucent silicone sealant they have”
" They have window sealant, door sealant, bathroom…" etc, etc, etc
“Doesn’t matter what it says it’s for, just get me the cheapest translucent etc”
“they have acrylic”
“No, I need silicone”
“But there’s loads, do you need anti fungal?”
at this point I’m starting to get pissed off, but I know if I give any sign of it, things will go downhill very quickly. So very calmly and with very flat intonation I tell her:
“Claire, I just need what I asked you to get. I don’t need anything special, I just need the cheapest translucent silicone they have”
“there’s no need to be like that about it, I am trying to help you”
“I’m not being anything about anything, will you please just get me what I asked for”
“The cheapest is £6.49!!!, what do you want it for?”
Very slowly and deliberately.:
“A couple of little jobs, I need to fix something on the Ducati and seal around where the leather and the sole of my dog walking boots join, they’re leaking.”
“well you need exterior sealant for that then, thats £9.99.”
“No I don’t, I just need any old stuff, it’ll be fine…”
“It won’t work, you need the outdoor stuff.”
at this point I lost it a little bit:
“FFS, just get the fucking cheap stuff please, that’s all I fucking need.”
“Fuck you, if you’re going to be like that about it you can get your own fucking sealant, you twat…”

Ho hum.

U ok hun?

[murrayjohnson]

You’ve not been married long enough. You’ll learn that for anything specific like that you really do have to get it yourself

[Rob998]

Of course, you’re absolutely correct, 16 years of wedded bliss (plus 2 years of “courting”) is nowhere near long enough to understand her. I’ll try again in another decade or so.

[Jim]

@coco

no room for making mistakes or vacillating there…

you need to talk to @Penance about vasillating…

[ICHM]

So, argument over £3.50, clever move. You need a day out together at that there Cheshire Oaks, that will cost you a lot more than 3.50

The correct answer to her would be “wonderful dear, that is a great thought, thank you for doing this, I will get my fireman suit on for your return”

[Penance]

@Jim

you need to talk to @Penance about vasillating…

For cuts, grazes or chaps?

[Stepmotheratomicbomb]

Get it yourself you lazy bastard, I’m with Claire on this.

[stu]

@coco

So of course I get a phone call:

“They have loads of sealants, which one do you need?” sigh

“The cheapest translucent silicone sealant they have”

" They have window sealant, door sealant, bathroom…" etc, etc, etc

“Doesn’t matter what it says it’s for, just get me the cheapest translucent etc”

“they have acrylic”

“No, I need silicone”

“But there’s loads, do you need anti fungal?”

at this point I’m starting to get pissed off, but I know if I give any sign of it, things will go downhill very quickly. So very calmly and with very flat intonation I tell her:

“Claire, I just need what I asked you to get. I don’t need anything special, I just need the cheapest translucent silicone they have”

“there’s no need to be like that about it, I am trying to help you”

“I’m not being anything about anything, will you please just get me what I asked for”

“The cheapest is £6.49!!!, what do you want it for?”

Very slowly and deliberately.:

“A couple of little jobs, I need to fix something on the Ducati and seal around where the leather and the sole of my dog walking boots join, they’re leaking.”

“well you need exterior sealant for that then, thats £9.99.”

“No I don’t, I just need any old stuff, it’ll be fine…”

“It won’t work, you need the outdoor stuff.”

at this point I lost it a little bit:

“FFS, just get the fucking cheap stuff please, that’s all I fucking need.”

“Fuck you, if you’re going to be like that about it you can get your own fucking sealant, you twat…

Should of bought caulk instead

[Rob998]

She was already going to the fucking shop where they sell the stuff! She was in the actual aisle too, because the decorating sundries stuff is in the same bastard aisle. Cunt.

[Rob998]

And you can have a “cunt” too.

[Jim]

@stu

caulk

Phil Cool - Cork

[Stepmotheratomicbomb]

Poor girl confusing her an that, shame on you

[A_Touch_of_Cloth]

You need the exterior stuff.

[stu]

…with anti mould

[A_Touch_of_Cloth]

'natch.

[Rob998]

Meh.

I’m “fixing” my reel to reel now, so she’s happy rollering paint (and that I’m out of the way) and I’m happy tinkering with stuff I don’t really understand (and that I’m out of the way).