Sounds no less pleasant than most Ozzy draft lagers 
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I found this portrait of you, posing by your proudest possession after your Hifi. You have no need to be running off every 10 mins, you know very well you can stay put. Bloody attention seeker. 
Cheeky fucker. Iâve lost weight and still have my hair!
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Just the one?
Heâs got 2 in that portrait. Mind you, these vanity portraits are often artificially flattering.
Fucking gout can have an almightly pile driver to the genitals. Or, seeing as I canât apparently even do illness properly, âpseudo-goutâ. Technically, a build up of crystals in the connective fluid in joints. Non-technically, like a Black & Decker through the knee cap, with acid applied to the drill bit. Attacks usually last a few days, but the latest fucker has been at it for nearly a fortnight now and the best efforts of no booze, careful diet and downing the absolute maximum of serious NSAIDs wonât shift it. The effects are not helped by the resulting total lack of sleep either. My GP cheerfully assures me the the ostio-arthritis it will almost inevitably lead to is actually somewhat less painful. Oh how we laughed.
My left ankle is so swollen you could write âhappy birthdayâ on it, attach a bit of string and wave it around at a childrenâs party. Except for the fact that if anyone gets within an inch of it, there is likely to be a war with a serious body count.
Apparently, symptoms of this severity can be relieved by my doctorâs best suggestion, which is a cortisone injection into the joint. I may even yet consider that, although theyâll have to clear out the waiting room, because I make no guarantees about how Iâll react to that particular joy.
Fuck gout and all who sail in her.
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Too much wine, port and Stilton.
And being a morbidly obese doesnât help.
Me for buying a big box of swizzles for halloween and then eating them all when no kids knocked on the door
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They turned up with carrier bags for their treats, namely chocolate. Well fuck that, got shot of the satsumas instead!
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Mrs VB baked chocolate chip cookies this time around and prior to 5:30 weâd only had one visitor and heâd left with sweets. So it was looking good. But then LOADS of the little tykes showed up, the last pitching up after 8:00 (to be fair he only lives over the road so I think we were their last stop). Anyway theyâve taken nearly ALL the cookies. Monsters 
!
VB
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Serves you right for pandering to the Mercanisation of yoof.
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I gave out some dog treats with the chocolates
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Gas fires can fuck right off. Was servicing boiler and went into make sure everything lit after turning gas off.
Had to classify this bastid as Immediately Dangerous as you can see the spillage across the top.
This invariably starts a conversation ofâŚâItâs been in 20 years and hasnât killed me yet. No way youâre turning it offâ.
Me âŚIâm not turning it off Iâm disconnecting it from the supply". I can do it now with your permission or phone Gas Transporter who will either cap your supply at the meter or dig a hole in your garden".
Honestly some people.
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Sir Shitearse Greedy Fucking Cunt (again).
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Two cunt drivers fighting in the street âŚ
On my way home from work, the usual route takes me down a residential street which has parked cars along both sides - only room for one car in the middle, but thereâs quite a few gaps for dropped kerbs where you can pass. Thereâs always cunts who refuse to give way, expecting you to give way to them, which doesnât bother me one iota.
As I turned into this road yesterday evening, there was a car stopped half way down and another behind it nose to nose. The two drivers were out of their cars shouting, throwing punches at each other and wrestling on the floor.
Fucking stupid childish cuntsâŚ
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Youtube?
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So you find a noteworthy earthworm and you donât call it Jim? Words fail meâŚ
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Late night cockpunch for those of yesterdayâs newspapers who advocated dispensing with the rule of law as a matter of political expediency. Fucking idiots.
Meanwhile, another use of the word clusterfuck.
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I so much donât want to give a fuck. I hate being angry all the time at the fucking empty headed cunts that lap this shite up. After Question Time last night I thanked fuck that I donât live in Watford.
Lord Chancellor Liz Truss can have one too for not coming out & defending the judiciary against the attacks by the right wing press. The attacks are encouraging those not so well versed in how the law works to draw ill founded conclusions about their motives. It could even result in further assaults like that on Jo Cox.
Itâs becoming evident that Theresa May & the 3 ministers, Davis, Johnson & Fox are entirely out of their depth in the current situation.
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