Sounds like he needs to be invited to the meatmen brethren
Is he French?
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Do you live in Royston Vasey perchance ?
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Nope.
Nope.
He akchurley sounds like a HiFi dealer 
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Been chuckling away at the thought of John Cleese as your butcher, pissing off an entire town…
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It isn’t an exaggeration. Funnily, I met someone I know on the train in this morning, I was boring her with my meat exploits and she asked if I had actually braved the butcher to get it. We then swapped stories about the twat for the rest of the journey into London. She was saying that she really has to pluck up courage to go in there and did this kind of quick, inhale, exhale and repeat, puffing thing that really made me laugh! 
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Do you have a cheese shop too?
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Yes, it is that I was thinking of, he is much,MUCH surlier though.
It does offer some tips on how to deal with him though 
Buy him out: seems like it could be an excellent business opportunity.
Smoked turkey is divine (I have done a crown before). It is so moist it’s unrecognisable from roast turkey.
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Funnily enough the first place I had smoked turkey was the Salt Lick in Texas -
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He wouldn’t sell and that is something we were talking about on the train, we reckoned it would take away his main purpose in life, which is being a cunt. Fuck having to deal with him to buy it too.
He could make a mint there if he had the right mentality. He grows all of the pork and lamb, plus some of the beef. He buys the rest of the beef and then dry ages it. It is very good. He completely lacks communication skills though and can’t see beyond spag bol, Sunday roast etc. He has no knowledge whatsoever about food. He’s a fucking Brexitard too but that isn’t exactly unusual where I live.
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I’d love to go to some Texas BBQ joints. Franklin and Mueller would both be on my list. I don’t travel to the states anymore though, which kind of rules it out. 
I’m not sure you need to!
oh but yes, yes I do. This guy has built five offset smokers out of huge propane tanks!
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Invite him over to try some of his produce - if he stood next to the Weber, you’d have smoked gammon 
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