Best of Local News

General Chat
21

Never a dull moment down here http://www.tavistock-today.co.uk/article.cfm?id=420395&headline=Border%20Morris%20out%20in%20force!&sectionIs=news&searchyear=2017

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http://www.surreymirror.co.uk/did-you-see-or-hear-a-loud-raf-helicopter-overhead-in-surrey-yesterday/story-30285085-detail/story.html

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With the start of the summer period, Dartmoor Border Morris will be busy dancing at pubs across the South West every Wednesday, doing dances inspired by the old mill of Lapford, the Beardown Man on Devil Tor and Cuckoo’s nest …

I imagine that after the second weekend in June there will be the odd (I use the word advisedly) dance inspired by the old dam at Lopwell.

VB

1 Like
25

Good for kindling those Morris dancers. I’m sure they’ll come in handy if the barbecue is difficult to light due to rain. Lashed together (with foo speaker cables and/or interconnects) they might be used as a raft on the lake. However, burning would be best. Firing out of a trebuchet might be good too…

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26

Too much beer inside - they’ll never burn.

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27

Could it be that the owner forgot where he parked it?

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Besides the headless sheep found in the town centre toilets, my favourite local news story concerned an incident where police were called to investigate complaints of a strong burning smell by the owners of a house in the town. On speaking to neighbours they realised that the culprit was a young chap regularly doing doughnuts on a powerful motorbike on his laminated living room floor which produced a lot of smoke & which left a lot of rubber behind.

Oh & the compulsive ram raider of shops selling wedding attire & accessories, Caught after a high speed chase with a car full of wedding dresses. That was another strange one.

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https://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/18057087_10155606665805663_892471599161551638_n.jpg?oh=eabf060ffb3b390ae4f855a4d4c0acc6&oe=59972FDC

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30

Whacking off in slurry is normal normal in Cornwall then?

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32

…no shit…

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33

Shouldn’t this be in the shit joke thread? :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

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“This was an extremely rare crime”

feckin right it was…

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36

Soaping up a fat beaver.

There, I’ve said it.

Move along now, nothing to see here.

10 Likes
37

Just as cheesy but good

38

This guy’s a real prize. convicted hooligan, bigot and pervert. Worse are the fat cunt’s crimes against grammar in this tasteless missive:

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They can come to my door i will happily give out my address :+1:

1 Like
40

this is what counts for excitement in WGC