End of a powerful vacuum cleaner perhaps. If a solid ball perhaps something like a soldering iron to make a hole without pushing it further down and then screwdriver to get purchase on it. If you take that approach make the hole at a slant from one side.
Put large screws in to it. Gently ease up with pliers or mole grips. Slap son. Tell wife that now you have the lube out it would be a shame not to use it.
You seem to have allowed your son to play in an area with large open holes.
Once you have recovered from using the lube you should feel bad and report yourself to social services.
They have no staff and will not be able to do anything until he has left home, but it is the right thing to do.
Screw fix or wherever sell them for drilling large diameter holes if you haven’t got one, taking the core out will give you room to work and ensure it can compress
Corkscrew is a good idea but will depend on how hard the ball is and how chunky your corkscrew is too I suspect
If the drain leads direct to a sewer then there will be some risk of methane. Once the flames get through the ball itself the resulting explosion should mean you won’t need to fish out any cinders.
