Bristol 23


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A Beginners Guide to Meating 'Toirtwats IRL:


  1. Know your exits.
  2. Do NOT make eye contact.
  3. Avoid airless, confined spaces - e.g. bedrooms, cellars, Norfolk garages, the boots of cars, &c.
  4. Do not wear woollen jumpers.
  5. NEVER offer an opinion on: surface noise, footwear, coffee, cables, tailoring, mince pies, Porsches, brass-band music, wristwatches, or the absolute fucking state of Hifi Wigwam now.
  6. Never offer @SCIDB a piece of cake, that would be extremely rude. If it is cake - it is his. ALL of it. This is The Rule. In return, he will be the only person who plays any music that is fit to listen to.
  7. Count your internal organs before arrival, and again before departure: make sure the two numbers match.
  8. Do not call anyone’s bluff. It isn’t a bluff. It’s never a bluff. A court would describe it as “incitement”. And with the state the NHS is in, you don’t want to find all that out the hard way.
  9. Alcohol is simultaneously ESSENTIAL and riskier than feeding a wet mogwai. You should aim to be at least as numb as everyone else while continuing to monitor your exits.
  10. No, you wouldn’t like a sweetie / you do not want to see some puppies / nor to see and discuss the latest active-crossovered multiway horn project. No.



‘Audio Abattoir- neither hifi nor human’.

  1. The first rule of VTA club is that you don’t talk about VTA club.
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I want to see puppies.

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Be careful what you wish for.

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No fun in that.



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There will be pie.

Only if I get at least 3 man hugs.

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Will trade for branded pens / notepads.

Youll want to head to Old Market for that.

Head at the old market?


Not long to go


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Fuckadoodledo, just priced this up, £500!!! Think I’ll be giving it a miss.

Me too. I’m looking at the thick end £400 before I’ve had a pint.

Unless I stay in Southampton, that is :man_facepalming:

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I stayed in some cheap place in Newport in 2007. Only remember as I went to the football on the Sunday.

Also should add I drove,which probably helps no one.

There’s an Ibis in Newport. A 20 min walk to the station perhaps.