A Beginners Guide to Meating 'Toirtwats IRL:
- Know your exits.
- Do NOT make eye contact.
- Avoid airless, confined spaces - e.g. bedrooms, cellars, Norfolk garages, the boots of cars, &c.
- Do not wear woollen jumpers.
- NEVER offer an opinion on: surface noise, footwear, coffee, cables, tailoring, mince pies, Porsches, brass-band music, wristwatches, or the absolute fucking state of Hifi Wigwam now.
- Never offer @SCIDB a piece of cake, that would be extremely rude. If it is cake - it is his. ALL of it. This is The Rule. In return, he will be the only person who plays any music that is fit to listen to.
- Count your internal organs before arrival, and again before departure: make sure the two numbers match.
- Do not call anyone’s bluff. It isn’t a bluff. It’s never a bluff. A court would describe it as “incitement”. And with the state the NHS is in, you don’t want to find all that out the hard way.
- Alcohol is simultaneously ESSENTIAL and riskier than feeding a wet mogwai. You should aim to be at least as numb as everyone else while continuing to monitor your exits.
- No, you wouldn’t like a sweetie / you do not want to see some puppies / nor to see and discuss the latest active-crossovered multiway horn project. No.
‘Audio Abattoir- neither hifi nor human’.
- The first rule of VTA club is that you don’t talk about VTA club.
I want to see puppies.
Be careful what you wish for.
No fun in that.
There will be pie.
Only if I get at least 3 man hugs.
Will trade for branded pens / notepads.
Youll want to head to Old Market for that.
Head at the old market?
Not long to go
Fuckadoodledo, just priced this up, £500!!! Think I’ll be giving it a miss.
Me too. I’m looking at the thick end £400 before I’ve had a pint.
Unless I stay in Southampton, that is
I stayed in some cheap place in Newport in 2007. Only remember as I went to the football on the Sunday.
Also should add I drove,which probably helps no one.
There’s an Ibis in Newport. A 20 min walk to the station perhaps.