Jan kind of reminds me of Suzie, who works with leather ( had to think how to word that so as not to be overly suggestive, ie the Leather Lady…) on The Repair Shop, I can imagine her smoking a cheroot.
Yeah, my friend’s daughter tried to take her own life, we thought she was back on the rails and then last Tuesday she checked herself back into the mental health clinic.
I know she’s not my child but I’ve known her so long that I feel a certain helpless responsibility and she’s such a beautiful soul.
The very people least able to cope with modern life ![]()
Oh mate, that’s heartbreaking, I don’t think Ellie ever got that close, but she was in a pretty bad place for at least 3 or 4 years, it was pretty hard to see a kid that had grown up fairly happy go lucky become a joyless shell of herself.
I truly hope your friend’s daughter finds a way through. ![]()
Poor mental health is shit. Hopes and Prayers to your friend and daughter Guy.
This is quite different from the “willpower methods” of giving up smoking. It’s not something you have to try and do, it’s something that happens, if the person connects with the process. Connecting with the process just requires some attentive reading and a bit of self-reflection. There’s nothing stressful about it, and no chance of relapse, if it works. I’m certainly not an expert on self-harming, but if vaping has in some way replaced self-harming, then I would imagine that actually filling in that hole that she is plugging with nicotine, permanently, should be massively constructive for her, psychologically speaking. Nicotine is essentially the thing that is digging the hole that we think we are using it to fill. When my process works for someone, which it usually does, they only experience something positive. It’s not a case of losing a prop, it’s a case of gaining one. The security of having genuinely transcended your addiction, rather than giving something up, painfully, that part of you would rather hang onto. It has genuinely transformative implications way beyond nicotine addiction.
And of course, nobody’s forcing her to stop. She can read the book and carry on vaping, if she wants. But I really hope it helps her
So sorry to hear she’s been through such a tough time.
Wow that’s so sad. It’s a tough time to be young. We’ve seen an awful number of these young suicide/attempted suicides among families in our wider community. Since Covid especially. It’s so tragic.
Thanks mate! Really hope it helps.
That’s really interesting Nick, I’ve obviously never really thought about it for myself, it just sort of happened to me, both starting and stopping, but for Ellie it’s a different story.
I’ll read the book for myself, because I suspect whatever your method is can be used to help with other habits, and give it to her for whenever it’s time for her comes.
Could the approach be applied to other addictions such as alcohol, gambling & drugs or is it really specific to smoking/vaping?
Other addictions you say ? Buying vinyl ? Box swapping ? ![]()
No no no, they’re not a problem… ![]()
When a person say " I am going to try and give up smoking " doomed to failure as they are only going to try.
I’ll be buying this
I keep falling back into the hole , and really really want to stop. Right up until i have another fag. Rinse, repeat
Ordered ![]()
I also wondered if the method may be applied to other addictions. Your intimated method of giving up suggests it should be applicable although the physical effects of other addictions may be harder to crack.
Yes it definitely applies to an extent across the board, but nicotine addiction is also quite a specific beast, and that was where it started for me, so that’s the focus. There are sections in the book where I expand into addiction more generally, but mainly it’s about smoking and vaping. But undoubtedly once you crack nicotine, the ripple effect of that percolates into your relationship with everything you consume, to some extent.
If you don’t try you can never succeed . I envy your certainty when it comes to treating addiction. It all sounds very simple.
It is, Another thing I did was break the habit yes habit , Have a snack followed by have a fag , Have lunch have a fag , Have dinner have a fag , It becomes routine so I had breakfast and instead of having a fag went into the kitchen and did the washing up, after dinner took the dog for a walk , If you don’t have a dog just go for a walk or mow the lawn even if it does not need doing, Do anything to break the habit , Clean the car then later vacuum it out , Clean the windows just anything to take your mind away from a fag , Keep at it and it will soon become routine , I have very low will power but for smoking I did it , Not smoked now for 40 years.
Sounds like breaking a habbit - Addiction is somewhat more than that.
I like smoking and if I’m honest don’t want to or have no intention of giving it up.
Smoke between 6 and 10 cigs a day but most days are closer to 6.