Car

Aren’t vauxhalls self igniting?

Not IME, just extremely fucking cheap to buy and service compared with pretty much anything else. Dull as fuck, but most cars are, and even when they’re not, Britain’s roads suck so hard it makes your ears pop…

Also, name a brand or model and somecunt somewhere will have horror stories to tell, and the next cunt will tell you how they drove to the moon and back over 30 years on one set of tyres and the same cam-belt… It’s all wank.

Paging @PapaLazarou for sensible suggestions.

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Utilitarian +…

https://www.cinch.co.uk/used-cars/dacia/sandero-stepway/details/085327c9-7700-41d6-b7b4-35b61b620b54

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Reliability?
Forget french go Japanese or Korean. Toyota Yaris or Auris or Kia/ Hyundai ceed / i30.
You might just get a Kia with a bit of warranty left on your budget.
Yes Ford a poxhall parts are cheap but you’ll need them to be.
If you don’t mind old and thirsty a Lexus is200 or is250 will outlast entropy but probably not what you’re after.

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^ this, it drove me nuts googling every model and reading the reviews.

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4 doors - yes
1.3L Petrol
roof rack - yes
boot space - yes
no excise duty
you can fix it with a hammer

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Learnt to drive in an estate version of that.
It was really really quite meh iirc. But it worked.

My former manager used to go with his Pinzgauer 6x6 on holidays to some desert destinations…

Most excellent, I bid on three in the past, but never bid enough. Partly fear of what I would actually do with it and partly lack of money for new house.

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I’ve been dreaming of a more modest Puch G from the same plant ever since, but it still is out of reach…

Didn’t know about those! Lovely

https://www.reezocar.com/en/occasion/puch+g.html

G wagon is the drug dealer’s car of choice where I live.