Inspired stuff BTW 
I lol’d.
Wonder where Rudolph Hucker is now?
Hopefully, serving time.
That’s so bad it’s almost good.
What a fucking mess.
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Driving a Berlingo in an intimidating manner.
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“Fiasco” is too short a word for it.
Luckily the roofer - the most important in the overall scenario - was absolutely top-tier, which given the mortgageable size of his bill, he needs to be!
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The Fiasco brothers would have made a much better fist of that guttering
We charged £9800 for this, it was a 10K job but the actress who’s house it was made a nice quince jam and that’s got to stand for something
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WTF? What is the down pipe emerging from behind the chimney connected to? 
The knee bone?
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The guttering on the next level up… 
FFS Bodgit & Scarper (very) LTD 
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TBH, so long as it stop the leaks, I’m resigned to living with it. I’ve had 6 months of these numbnuts and just want them gone…
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6 months → down the drain.
Available for parties and pagnan rituals. But not those weird ones with all the hands and squirty cream… Is there no decency left in this world?. Squirty cream isn’t even cream, damn all eyes.
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Did he try to sell you some lucky heather too?
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Lucky rabbit’s foot AND Tarmac’d the drive…!
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Hmm, having filled in a few holes and stuff (“uh, I’ll need the coarse sandpaper for that”), and following your helpful advice, I have decided to go with lining paper. It’s fairly flat, so I reckon it’ll look fine.
Is there anything I need to know about lining paper? I was planning to get the thick stuff, and use lots of paste. I’m sure it’ll be fine…
I’m sure it will be absolutely shit, but you’ll probably convince yourself otherwise 
I’m guessing it was harder than it looked 
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First rule of DIY right there.