Don’t you have any sheep for him to round up? 
Sadly not, although there are 6 cows in the field round the house. Not sure what cows are like for being rounded up though.
Ģive him a trial 
Not good. This claims to be an article about cows and walkers. But it’s almost entirely about cows and dogs. Most dogs can outrun cattle, which is a good thing because they may well have to.
VB
Yep, the cows in the top field on Saffron’s morning walk make a bee-line for us when we enter the field to get to the next one. They move as a herd and if you’re not quick enough the buggers will have you pinned against the hedge before you reach the gate.
A friend of mine was knocked to the ground by cattle. He doesn’t have a dog, but he was walking with a friend who did. His friend, who was more familiar with them than he was, screamed at him to get to his feet again which, fortunately, he managed to. One of the cattle’s tactics is to floor you and then roll on you. It can easily be fatal.
I don’t like entering fields of cattle without a stick. They seem to understand that a bloke with a stick is likely to use it if they get too close.
VB
This.
I grew-up in cattle cuntry - for everything this side of Chillingham Park Cattle / cow-with-calf / defensive-bull-with-herd, a stick and fronting-up to cows keeps the fuckers in their place. They’re basically bored silly stood around in a field, they’re nosy and curious, and somewhere in their incredibly dim, heavily-domesticated brains is a notional wariness of wolves. Doesn’t help that some farms are running huge, feisty Charolais and Limousin nowadays, though it’s usually mixed herds of beef heifers and bullocks that are the most trouble - think big gang of hormonal teenagers who are about to get boltgunned (now there’s a compelling notion…
) and you’re about right.
If anyone feels threatened - DO NOT RUN! They’re quicker than you - turn on them, run at them, yell, and if needs be twat them with your twat… er… walking stick. You’ll feel a right cock, but that’s the worst of it. If you’re in trouble: let the damn dog go - he’ll either turn on them or leg it to safety, either way leaves you with one less thing to deal with and could save both your lives.
EVERYTHING in farming wants you dead, and all livestock devotes its short life to trying to die prematurely.
If in doubt, stay the fuck out.
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Little wimp. He bought shame upon The Nation 
We got surrounded after I decided I knew a shortcut back to our holiday let from Glastonbury Tour a few years ago. The kids were screaming which only attracted them. Despite being dim, like most animals they can sense when they have the upper hand. I put the alarm on my phone which spooked them and they wandered off.
There’s nowt as funny as a woman or a milking cow.
Very profound 
This whole people being afraid of cows thing mystifies me. I grew up on a dairy farm, surrounded by other farms… spent my whole childhood/teenage in farming country, and I have NEVER been in a situation with a cow or bull or entire herd, ever, that wasn’t cured by just taking one rapid step towards them and going “boo” loudly. They are almost universally innocent and cowardly. They are the hippies of the animal kingdom. Sure, they’ll run towards you energetically and it might appear they are trying to stampede you, but seriously, just go boo, and they flip round and run the other way. And bulls. And cows with calves. Honestly. They’re useless, as far as aggression goes. Sure, if you turn and run away, they’ll keep coming, but all they’re thinking is “oh something new to pay attention to”… they’re utterly passive. You have to work really really fucking hard to piss off a bovine.
Edit: however, doggos can wind them up a bit… Just leave the dog out of the field.
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People are probably afraid because every so often they kill someone. This was just last month (I don’t know whether the woman survived, but the dog didn’t, which is unusual)
VB
Yep but the problem is people mistaking the intention of the cows. Sure, it’s a huge load of meat with legs, and if you get under it, it’ll flatten you. But it’s also a huge load of meat that’s chicken-shit cowardly and will just run away if you shoo it.
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Things which kill you if you make a mistake are not things to be unafraid of. I work a great deal with exposed live electricity, which could easily kill me at any moment. I know what I’m doing though, so I don’t make mistakes and therefore it doesn’t (at least, not so far 
). But I wouldn’t encourage the public to get involved with it. You grew up on a dairy farm, so you know what you’re doing with cows. The problem is we do encourage people who don’t have that knowledge to get out for a walk …
VB
Couldn’t agree more with that. But I think being aware and wary is the appropriate state of mind, rather than fear. If you’re walking on a pavement next to a busy road, you are at all times only a few steps away from being crushed by large lumps of moving metal. But you understand the logistics of being in proximity to cars, so you are fine. The cars aren’t trying to kill you, but get in the way and your death is the likely result. So you’re wary of the traffic and act accordingly. But you aren’t afraid of cars or think they deliberately want to run you over. It’s essentially the same thing. If everyone goes on about cows chasing and trampling people and running away, that’s how people will approach it. But the cows aren’t trying to run you over, they’re just running cos they’re bored, and you represent something new. I can remember endless occasions as a little kid, a big wall of cows bearing down on me, and if I’d turned and run in the same direction, seconds later I’d have been toast. But instead seconds later the cows are legging it off across the field in the opposite direction with me shouting in hot pursuit, laughing my head off. It’s all in the approach to the situation.
When I woke up one morning (no, this isn’t the start of a blues song) a good few weeks ago and the back garden had 11 cows and a bull in it, it was decision time. Phone the croft manager and ask him to remove them, or do it myself. As they were shitting all over the place, not what you want your dogs rolling around in, and he would have probably taken half an hour to get here, I decided to do it myself.
Took a walking stick outside with me and just walked towards them, waving the stick and telling them, quite loudly, to fuck off. They turned and trampled down the fence and left - the part of the fence next to the bit they trampled down to get in!
My main concern was the bull, but it offered little resistance.
They were not aggressive in any way and seemed more scared of me than I was of them. They’re not exactly small cows either.
I’m not suggesting that it would work every time and I understand that they could be dangerous if they wanted to resist, but this lot are very passive.
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Bull in field of cows = calm bull.
They’re pretty much universally lovely animals that just happen to be big and heavy, and gather momentum when they run. That’s it. Those ones are beautiful!
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