Mary Poppins has announced she no longer wears lipstick whilst performing oral sex, after claiming the super colour fragile lipstick makes the dicks atrocious.
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As this year’s xmas will be very different to the usual, let’s share some of our best Christmas memories.
Here’s one of mine: -
Every Christmas we’d run downstairs to the big pile of presents and start unwrapping them as fast as we could. Sometimes there would be fights over who had the best gifts, but we would all make-up later and sit down to have a three hour dinner. Afterwards, we’d settle down to drinking, smoking and watching telly for the rest of the day.
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I really miss working at the Royal Mail sorting office.
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The whole of Cornwall has been placed into tier 4 lockdown after hundreds of pirates returned home to Penzance to celebrate Christmas with their families.
Apparently the Arrrrr rate has increased dramatically.
Scroll up 
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Think that’s the third time.
Age is crool.
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I’m only 41. It’s the drugs and alcohol. 
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Plus I don’t read this thread generally as the jokes are so bad.
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Well done for maintaining the standard 
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I met a guy I know slightly on Monday and asked him if the new rules had altered his Xmas arrangements. He said yes, they meant his sister and her family wouldn’t be coming. And he was really pleased about that (not really funny I guess, but at least he was happy).
VB
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(Is it a Man U kit? Even betterer)
