Eton? Rugby? Marlborough? Which privileged prep is this from?
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Replace Hermione with Boris ?
Bloke nicks a joint of beef from a supermarket. The security guard spots him on his way out nd shouts “Oi, what are you doing with that?”
Bloke replies “Peas, roast spuds and yorkshires.”
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The true spirit of Christmas in one letter 
Fair cheered me up that has 
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Sorry, this is possibly the wrong thread for that. It is mildly amusing.
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True, but we all (except @Jim) trip up from time to time.
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Meeeehhhh 
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“Paint the whole world with a … jesusfuck! HNNNNNGGGGG!!!”
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Did you hear about the girl who only eats plants…
…you’ve probably never heard of herbivore.
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I am so rooting for the bull.
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Can’t stop watching
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Me too, but the sad fact is that it will be slaughtered anyway.
Fucking barbarians.
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Bullseye.