Good idea Dave… but needs to be bigger…
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Not sure I’d be taking your advice on the size of something…
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Probably an estate agent’s glass
One size thing I do know about - cunts - and you lot are fucking massive ones 
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Thanks. Everyone is cheering me up today 
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Is that Norfolk massive or the rest of the UK massive ?
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A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.
“Nurse,”’ he mumbles from behind the mask, “are my testicles black?”
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, “I don’t know, Sir. I’m only here to wash your upper body and feet.”
He struggles to ask again, “Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?”
Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and
pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.
She looks very closely and says, “There’s nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine.”
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,
"Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very closely:
“Are - my - test - results - back?”
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Wonder which remote island that odious fucker is hiding on at the moment… hopefully it turns out to be actively volcanic
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Jerry Hall isn’t faring well…
You can see why she married him though 
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My wife thought that was hilarious… 
Meanwhile
Next door neighbour just been rushed into hospital struggling to breathe, they put him on one of those new Dyson ventilators and now he’s picking up nicely 
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Jeez, Olan, it’s late and I’ve had a drink, but that’s terrible
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They’re on lock down, stupid.
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That arrived this afternoon in a deluge of covid-19 related stuff after a Microsoft Teams Meeting. There was no way I was posting it until the wee small hours for fear of being tarred and feathered. It is appalling.
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Well it made me laugh.
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