Cabin fever mate. Laughing at that shite is the probably a side effect of the Lockdown.
Lucky you. Douglas Adamsâ âLong Dark Tea Time of the Soulâ is becoming more and more of a reality in this never ending procession of (almost) Sundays.
Me too, theyâve had me writing SQL in order to try and estimate the impact of C19 on the business.
SELECT âTis fucked, sirâ FROM Obvious.IsObvious
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I work for a is a motor rewind/pump repair place. 80-90% of which is the local food factories.
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Superb book.
Detective Agency is also excellent.
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A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patty Whack.
âMiss Whack, Iâd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday.â
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that itâs okay, he knows the bank manager.
Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.
The frog says, âSure. I have this,â and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patty explains that sheâll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says, âThereâs a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral.â She holds up the tiny pink elephant. âI mean, what in the world is this?â
(Youâre gonna love this.)
The bank manager looks back at her and says, âItâs a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old manâs a Rolling Stone.â
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Take me now JesusâŚ
Feck that was shockingâŚ
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You loved it, admit it 
Meh! I admit nothing. I thought it would take days to produce something more execrable than the Timpsonâs meme. Sadly, I was wrong. That effort is going to lingerâŚ
Fuck off, it was loads better than your Timpsons shite 
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Blimey!
Never thought I would look forward, to one of Jimâs joke. Where is he, when we need him?
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Prince William: âHi Harry. Dad has COVID-19.â
Prince Harry: âYours might have.â
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Feck meâŚthe arbiter of taste has spoken (or beshat the thread, not sure which)⌠
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Fortunately I had heard this already at school in the 1970âs so luckily my spleen didnât rupture this time. I worry though about our younger members.
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The only way to pull off a lockdown afternoon âquickieâ with their 8-year old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a Mars Bar and tell him to report on all the street activities.
He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation:
âThereâs a car being towed from the car park,â he shouted.
âAn ambulance just drove by!â
âLooks like the Andersons have company,â he called out.
âMattâs out on his bike and his mum is telling him offâ
âLooks as if the Sanders are going into full isolation!â
'Jason has had his skate board taken off him
After a few moments he announced, âThe Coopers are having sex!!â
Startled, his mum and dad shot up in bed!
Dad cautiously called out,
âHow do you know theyâre having sex?â
âJimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a Mars Barâ.
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