Fatberg of utter drivel and fekin' fish puns a.k.a Jim's jokes

Great advice :+1:

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Triggered…

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The words “fucked, mate” seem to be missing

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At least he’s managed to spell Motors correctly. :+1:

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Hope you at least let his tire’s down?

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Tippex ftw

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What is a ‘clutche’ ?

Wow, apostrophe overdose


Only ever had the one single.

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The horror continues…

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This is horrible revenge for what has just happened in the football:

A German guy called Helmut approaches a lady of the night in London .

“I vish to buy sex viz you.”

“Okay,” says the girl, “I charge £50 an hour.”

“Ist goot, but I must varn you, I am a little kinky.”

“No problem,” she replies cautiously, “I can do a little kinky for an extra £10.”

Helmut agrees.

So off they go to the girl’s flat, where the German produces four large bedsprings and a duck caller.

“I vant zat you tie zese springs to each of your hans und knees.”

The girl finds this odd, but complies, fastening the springs as requested.

“Now you vill get down on your hans und knees.”

This she duly does, balancing precariously on the springs.

“You vill please to blow zis kwacker as I make ze love to you.”

She thinks this even odder, but figures it’s harmless (and the guy is paying).

But the sex is fantastic: honking away on the duck caller, she is bounced all over the room by the energetic German. The climax is the most sensational she has ever experienced, and it’s several minutes before she has enough breath to say, “That was totally amazing! What do >you call that position?”

“Zat,” replies the German, "is ze Four-sprung Duck Technique

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Ban yourself - already thrown your coat outside…

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I’m not a mod - thank fuck…

Brentford goal as punishment

Maybe that should be your punishment then…

:cold_face:

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image

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Get to fuck…

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