Christmas dinner joke:
What do you call a magic dog?
A Labracadabrador.
Advice please.
I’m lucky enough to be on holiday from 23rd December through to 8th January. I plan to go away to somewhere quiet, away from crowds of people. Perhaps in the mountains, or maybe by a lake.
Ideally it’d also be an all-inclusive deal.
I plan to spend £10000 - £15000, perhaps a little more, on the accommodation, some nice wine, and great food, so I can relax, unwind and generally destress after what has been a very tough year.
Does anyone know where I can get the money?
A medieval king was hunting in Africa. He killed a lion, an elephant, and a hippopotamus, and awarded the skins to his three squires back home in his kingdom.
Thus, the three squires became known as the Lion Squire, the Elephant Squire, and the Hippo Squire.
As the years passed, the Lion Squire and the Elephant Squire became very jealous of the Hippo Squire because they wanted the hippo skin too. So, they hatched a plan to assassinate the Hippo Squire and divide the hippo skin between them equally.
Now the Lion Squire had eight sons, and the Elephant Squire had ten sons, but the Hippo Squire was childless. The Lion Squire and the Elephant Squire sent their eighteen sons to kill the Hippo Squire, but the Hippo Squire drew his sword and single-handedly slaughtered all eighteen of them.
And thus, it was proven once and for all that the squire of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squires of the other two hides.
You deserve to be both tanned and coshed after posting that.
Enjoy your ban 
Are you moonlighting Paul ???
