You are obviously bored feckless, why have you shaved your legs?
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Suede = tick
Stupidly long tongues = wank
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Iâd buy that for a dollar
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Yeah. The tongues are annoying.
Shabed legs? Nonsense. Itâs the sun just makes them a bit less obvious. 
Whereabouts in Turkey are you?
Kalkan. Probably the best holiday weâve had.
Canât recommend it enough.
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Looks like a nice place. Is there much to see nearby? How is the town itself?
When we were in SW Turkey the thing we found was that it was bigger than we thought. So we were âwithin reachâ of three of the wonders of the ancient world, but apart from the Mausoleum at Halicarnassus (now called Bodrum, 20-30 miles from where we were staying) it wasnât âeasyâ reach. We did make it to the Temple of Diana at Ephesus (Ephesus is well worth it - Turkey has more Roman ruins than Italy and more Greek ruins than Greece) but not to the site of the Colossus of Rhodes. The Colossus is completely gone now and itâs not even certain where it once stood.
At the time of our stay Bodrum also claimed to have the loudest nightclub in the eastern Mediterranean !
VB
Spaghetti junction?
No nightclubs or anything here.
Kalkan is split between old town and the new town. A few offices banks and a market for the new and the old town being down around the harbour. Plenty of good quality restaurants in the old town.
No hotels as such, just mainly villas andapartments means the numbers of tourists are mange able.
Korsan Suites are where we are. Nothing like the unfair reputation that Turkey receives.
A few relics close by. 
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You arenât including the estimable Ms Spatchcock among those, are you?
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Indeed.
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Any KFC or Burger kings close by?
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Itâs really handy to hire a car there, and then you can visit the fantastic archaeological sites. And the fast food joints.
One thing the tourist books donât tell you is about the sheer volume of turkeys wandering round that country hence the name. You can barely get a space to sunbathe on the beach & youâre forever being pecked. Itâs a nightmare. KFC is actually KFT there. You can only get it in an extra large bucket & they start giving it away after 4pm each day.
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At least heâll see one gobbler this week thenâŚ
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Are they British tourists, red heads white bodies.
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Still goingâŚ