Fixed it.
I quite agreeā¦ although not for the toast, more for the rigid no-nonsense āthumbs upā at the end.
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As regular loaves of bread go, this stuff is my current favourite for toasting.
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Never mind cutting it, toast is complicated enough. It comes from the toaster hot but cooling fast. You have to get the butter temperature right. Straight from the fridge, too cold to spread. Softened a little in the microwave, but too soft & it all sinks in.Thereās a clash of two temperature gradients. Get it right and you have butter on your toast that has good coverage but still has some firmness in places. You do want the pleasure of having to bite through some butter before hitting toast. You have to be careful not to add too much marmalade & cool everything off. You canāt be making a cup of tea while the toast is meeting the butter. Timing is critical. Tea has to be made first. And then, even if you get it all right, someone might call you on the phone (itās too early you thoughtless bastard) and the toast goes cold ruining the effectā¦ No. Not as simple as it seems.
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Remind me, what time is breakfast?
feck off!
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Of course, speak tomorrow 
In 38 years on this planet Iāve never seen 3. Never. Itās made me feel uneasy looking at it. Just looks wrong.
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Hotels do 1. They are wrong.
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Iāve explained to clients that toast waits for no man and I would call them back later. They were never impressed, implying or inferring that toast was not a valid excuse. Fuckā em I thought. Toast waits for no man.
Also I slice only no. 2
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Somewhere between 1 and 2. But with nicer bread. Thinly scrape cool butter. Add jam if you fancy. Never marmalade. It is shit. You know it is shit, so donāt bother with your pathetic arguments.
Morninā.
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What the fuck does that even mean? Some random jaunty angle that produces two useless trapezia? In what way does that make sense?
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If you can or have to āscrapeā your cool butter onto the toast then Iām afraid something has gone horribly wrong. Either the toast is over cooked and too hard or it has gone cold but still too hard and probably both. Itās evident that you arenāt getting the lubricating effect of hot toast against cooler butter so you should really have a word with yourself and start again. And the notion of jam being preferable to marmalade? For breakfast? How old are you? Grow the fuck up.
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How much of a fuck do you think I am giving?
I also like lemon curd on my toast.
Perhaps I should have described the butter as thinly sliced.
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Lemon curd is good, but you are wrong about marmalade. Itās ace. And no.2
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To be clear. Jam on toast is fine at tea time. Marmalade definitely isnāt. The only time jam can be used at breakfast is on croissants.
Do adults eat jam on toast?
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No
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Damson jam fucking rocks
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