While financial issues seem to be a bother, consider looking at the benefits you may be entitled to. It sounds like she would qualify for carer’s allowance, and there may be other benefits depending on life expectancy - sorry to put it bluntly.
I know that if I were in your position, the only important thing would be to spend time with her, so it may be worth taking a sabbatical from work (or just tell them to fuck off for a while), in which case those benefits might take the edge off financially. You could also contact your mortgage provider and ask for a payment holiday, if that makes sense for you.
Jesus Andy, gutted to read all of this, and not a little shocked, too. I know all too well the lengths that employers will go to be as unsupportive and unreasonable as they can be, but never in circumstances like these… I’m so sorry.
I don’t know you well enough to have a clue about what next step you should take, but I do know that even if we get our “four-score-and-ten”, it’s still brutally short, so if I were in your position I’d be giving most of my thoughts to making the time you do have as memorable and fun as possible, especially for Kay.
If that means packing-in work, flogging your house, and touring the World until the cash runs out, then so be it… You are more than capable of starting anew when the unthinkable does come to pass, and at least you won’t be regretting the things you didn’t do…
Stuff is just stuff, time is the most precious thing we have…
No matter what else : keep venting, rant and rage all you want - you’re in the right place
This would be a PR disaster for many companies. You are not powerless in this situation. There is however stress going down the whistle blow / shame route. I’d echo what others have suggested and look at signing off sick.
I can’t get my head around this. It’s just incomprehensible to me how they could have arrived at this decision. It’s way beyond cunty. It’s totally unreasonable, uncaring and shows a complete lack of compassion for you and the awful situation that you’re having to cope with.
I know nothing about anything but in the first instance I’d write to HR and ask them to explain their decision in writing. The next step would be to take legal advice on where you stand on constructive dismissal as clearly they’re leaving you no choice but to quit your job.
Your priority is to continue to be able to care for your wife. They are literally doing nothing to help you in that regard. On the contrary, they are erecting barriers by preventing you from continuing to work from home while also fulfilling your caring responsibilities.
Given they have not notified you of any failings with your work, you can safely assume that you have been able to carry out both roles satisfactorily which begs the question of why are they suddenly being so obstructive?
My advice is don’t take it lying down. Fight these inconsiderate fucks every step of the way and make them pay for their lousy attitude.
Write an open and honest letter about how this is affecting you, don’t sugar coat the terminal diagnosis. Explain how work and the job is important to you and you’d rather not leave but understandably your wife will always be your first priority above all else.
Send it by recorded snail mail to the CEO/MD and also by email (put in the email that you have sent him/her a letter because that will better convoy your emotion but you are sending the email in case it fails to reach him correctly - this is purely so they don’t think you are making an official record of your state (you are))
I would not recommend going sick with stress or doing anything that would make you be viewed as ‘difficult’ just yet.
On the other hand if you are not bothered about the job get signed off with stress for 6 months and bleed them.
That isn’t the real issue! Your situation is the issue.
I just can’t believe how abominable people can behave, where money is involved.
Get all the help you can, and get justice for you and family.
All the best.
Absolutely correct. In general terms, they may be within their rights in requesting you return to the office but I believe that is absolutely trumped by your right to expect some consideration from your employer of the fact that your wife is terminally ill and needs your support.
Ive a meeting with HR tomorrow.
Im very surprised with dept head and line manager, previously they have been hugely supportive. It makes me think this has come from higher up.
I have colleagues that were taken on under the work from home regime. Some live 2.5 hours from the office, they are now told they must be in off a minimum of 3 days a week.
It might be worth asking how much worse things would need to get for them to agree to an exception. If they can’t say then that ia a sign that there isn’t any option of reasonable adjustments.
Don’t assume that they have all the correct info on your situation. If you have the time, create a document that you can give them at the meeting setting out everything that you are having to cope with at home.
Don’t hesitate to include the fact that the company has caused you enormous additional stress by insisting that you return to the office at the very time when you most need their support to work from home as you need to continue to care for your wife.
Its an informal chat with a HR person who is also a friend of one of my colleagues.
I will be sure to explain everything but im not expecting a bottom line reply, more advice and indication of whether there is negotiation to be had.
Getting direct contact with HR is good. Make sure you stress that while this situation has caused you enormous stress, working from home will allow you to care for your wife but also maintain your level of work output. Work output is all these cunts are interested in.
I do think that unless they do an about face, it will serve you well to document everything and provide it to HR along with a request that they put in writing the company’s reasons for refusing to allow you to continue working from home. They need to spell out why your precise circumstances are not sufficient to qualify you for an exception to the new rule that employees must work in the office for three days per week.
