Short sightedness by Orangemen?
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You assume correctly. I am a 57 year old man and don’t wear glasses at all; freak is a valid description either way 
I can even read ingredient lists on jars / boxes etc (seems to be the litmus test these days) without grief.
I only wanted the bastard thing for a bit more magnification, to look at styli in situ.
Loop innit (again) 
Yeah, prolly
Amazon pennies
Nah, any other site, pennies.
Don’t want to add fuel to the Corpocracy, if I can help it.
Just buy one from whatever shite site suits you most appropriately
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Loupe.
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Count 
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Yes.
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Mocking
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Moi? 