Office Wedgie

This is an ungentlemanly appeal…

Background:
Plymouth currently has the highest level of Covid infection since the beginning of lockdown. At the beginning of lockdown ‘sensible’ people in our office wedged all internal doors open and created a one way system in the lobby. The main toilet doors were also wedged open (Of course the toilet cubicles within still had doors and privacy)

Status report:
Last week the toilet door was un-wedged and closed. I re-wedged it. A day later the wedge was gone. I found another and re - wedged. The new wedge disappeared. The game was now afoot!!!.. I made a new wedge and epoxy’d it to the floor (and bottom of the door) this wedge lasted a week, today it was gone. OK, now it’s personal, Fuck wedges, A baton with pre counter sunk holes has been glued and screwed inside the door frame (Effectively keeping it open, the counter sunk screw heads covered in epoxy) It remains to be seen if this is cuntproof. The next course of action is to simply remove the door…
Or get an office guard pet

Your thoughts gentlemen please

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If they’re fire doors, I reckon you don’t have a leg to stand on.

But wait…

If not, FetlarDoorWedges are available, by post, at eye watering prices (glue included) and will solve(nt) your problem

Otherwise, I know someone who can supply a wolverine (honey badgers at slightly reduced costs) and that would be a fairly effective, alternative solution.

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Surveillance camera must be the the next escalation.

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I would apply disguise if I was kicking up the shit for kicks or at least be setting up decoys.
There would seem to be more than this going on.
The personal travels long

Too lost in admiration for coherent thoughts to coalesce…

Probably going to involve razor blades and 240VAC.

image

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It might be time for a passive aggressive email to the whole office

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I may have missed something, but what was the point of wedging the toilet door open (I’m sure that the inevitable invasion the users’ privacy wasn’t the only reason for doing it) ? Was it ventilation perhaps - which is certainly a good idea ? If so, then would the whole scheme really have been ruined by the closing of just this door ?

When I was at work I had a colleague whose office was opposite the door of the Gents. She was being driven slowly crazy by the unpredictable sound of the Dyson hand-dryer. I can’t imagine where she’d have ended up if she’d had to put up with this too

Need to see a pic of the glued and screwed baton before it goes.

Are you sure this isn’t Stronzi, thrilled at the amount of glue being purchased, and now able to make small but regular withdrawals from the glue cupboard?

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Touch.

Still in situ

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Would it not wise to unhinge the door if it’s wedgied ?The stun will at least give time for the reveal?

After all, it’s not a big place


Superglue/epoxy as many of these as will fit on the hinge surface of the door so that closing the door would crush them.

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This kind of thinking lets me know I’m in the right place - Thankee

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Ah, yes, that would explain why it started back in Mar 2020. Then the WHO was saying “This is like flu. It spreads by touch. You need gloves. Don’t bother with masks.”.

Of course we now know that this isn’t the biggest worry. There is still some possibility of spreading by touch. But given that folks are going to be touching the handles on the inner doors and the flush handle/button on the loo itself there’s still that problem to deal with. Maybe provide people with an antiseptic wipe and ask them to touch everything with that ? Or just wipe their hands with it before going (you’d hope they’d wash their hands after they’re done).

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A high touch area that is often unhygienic can be minimised by AudioLabWedge.