This is your moment Adam. Some sort of unholy combination of an old portable CRT and a Raspberry Pi that only plays YouTube rips of late eighties and early nineties MTV. An optional VH-1 rip plugin will be an extra £199.99.
I now have a vision of him walking forlornly in and out of shops on the high street, then sitting at home with Yellow Pages on his lap, JR Hartley style.