Well done, practice makes perfect.
A moment on the hips, a lifetime of responsibility!
Seriously though congrats and wish you much joy of parenthood.
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Congratulations Mr and Mrs Rob
Enjoy the peace while it lasts
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Congratulations and double congrats if its yours 
There’s a wealth of experience here so just ask any questions about parenting and then do the complete opposite to the advice and you’ll be fine.
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There is one thing that I think everyone would agree on.
Do not, under any circumstances, for any reason whatsoever, even think about getting new soft furnishings in the next 10 years. Every bodily fluid you can think of and several you won’t even consider will get into them at some point.
Ignore the advice of anyone who doesn’t currently have kids.
Ignore the advice about babies from anyone whose kids are above the age of five. They have mentally blocked out all the trauma of the early years.
It gets better.
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Freely given opinion and advice which is then duly ignored is the life blood of this forum 
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I think he means ‘It gets different’
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Whether its better or different it certainly gets more expensive!
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If you have a car, it will smell of sick and/or poo. As will you.
And wee.
Next advice: budget for at least one replacement washing machine every 2 years, especially with washable nappies.
And if you do go down the disposable route, Greta’s disappointment will pale compared to the poonamis that reach all the way to the shoulder blades.
Edit: don’t even think about fingernails longer than absolutely necessary for either of you or what gets trapped under them will be truly grim.
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Known round our way as FBD or Full Body Diarrhoea. Smellable through doors and walls.
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Except by men, strangely 
We described them as peepers (just above the waistband) and leapers (just below the neckline). Leapers came with a particular noise that made your heart sink…
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The last & best of FoL & GF’s Georgia videos. I can see the appeal of it, looks like the Wild West in places…
They’re off to Laos next month so no doubt there’ll be more.
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Driving to Tesco’s today.
10 min in, Jan remembers she has forgotten the list.
Just arriving she realises she has forgotten her phone with all the Clubcard stuff on.
Quiet “fuck” under her breath.
3 year old voice from the back “why you say fuck Granjan” 
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Niece #1 has eschewed horse-riding, shooting etc. clubs and has instead opted for “pole fitness” which is exactly what it sounds like.
No dear, your video isn’t Dodgy As Fuck at all 
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One of FoL’s friends took it up & is now UK champion. I used to enjoy seeing her pics on his FB feed.
20-week scan all OK, expecting a little girl. Can’t actually put into words how excited we are!*
*for no sleep, no social life and shit up the walls.
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Congrats, I’m so pleased for you both!
Its going to be great isn’t it!
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