Fur trapper
If I was a single man I would collect Alden. Once I had worked my way through their killer Brogues, I would get into The Modified Last and maybe start with these:
And their cordovan…

Ooh yeah… 
Split toe
. Not really my thing, lots of their shoes look like ortho boots 
I saw some a while ago in London, and they don’t do it for me.
I’d love some Aldens, I have quite a few pairs of Allen Edmonds which got while living in Florida, decent for the money.
What make?
I do have a soft spot for some horse shoes.
Alden.
I also have some “Alte Wien” (actually C&J) brogues in horse’s ass.
If you ask nicely, Ellie and Lauren might teach you how to polish them properly.
Nice slacks. I presume they come in one-size-fits-all with an elasticated waistband.
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One flame lights all by the look of it. 
Also… not sure if that is the floor or wallpaper… There is a strong chance you may be Lionel Ritchie. 
I now have a pair of these by Loake
https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0397/8821/products/loake_foley_3_1024x1024.jpg?v=1477336573and a pair of these by Jeffrey West
https://images-eu.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/717NR1VCCuL.UY395.jpg
Are they Doctor Martins? I have a pair just like that and they are DMs 
Old man’s slacks 

How much are the black widow bum kickers?
Yup. Anderson and Sheppard’s finest cumfy - fit - for - fat - fuk line ![]()

