Tales from the Platform

I’m keen to avoid spoiling the AA Bus Stop Thread with these tales which may or may not reflect the reality of working on the buses.

Life certainly got more ‘interesting’ since I chose to campaign for things of minor importance such as; y’know; a place to rest and eat meals.

I also got tired of representing myself when there was a disciplinary hearing over things like- having a shit after driving in rush hour traffic for an hour and a half…

Anyhoo; the following may have happened recently:

Was so close to having a conniption fit… Patience has ran out.

A bus shat itself; red warning lamps for engine as well as an audible warning.

It seems I was expected to drive it in service. At five fucking miles an hour.


To assist, I took the useless pile of shit to the terminus. Less than 3 miles away.

This process took forty minutes with traffic building up; me stopping where safe to let traffic pass.

I got to the stand and called up saying that I will have my break and call when I’m back on the bus.

I need food. I last ate at 05:08 this morning.

I’m not rushing a meal- risking indigestion- within 45 minutes. Which is less than the agreed time anyway.

I said that and suggested the controller didn’t understand what I was saying.

He raised his voice and said I will be back on time.

Well I’m not. Because the cunting thing is on the stand and I am on the way home.

If he had said that’s cool, give me a call when you are ready, I’d have been five minutes late…

So taking the piss costs money. And mileage.


A few years ago, Buses Magazine had an editorial titled “Blakey isn’t dead” which highlighted the problems with the PCV Industry.

Given that Buses Magazine is mostly for enthusiasts, the bluntness of the piece was very surprising; I’ve been reading Buses for 35 years.

Some interesting quotes from that editorial:

(there is)“…a perception that parts of the industry could make a much better job of managing their staff…”

“…when it comes to managing and motivating driving staff the industry does things rather badly…”

(The)“…approach is far too confrontational […] a culture of blame, fault finding and rushing to disciplinary action […] (Leading to a) sense of insecurity among staff…”

I can relate to this. When that article was published, I was signed off by my GP with ‘Work Stress’ which was attributed to the ‘Hostile Atmosphere’ as a result of me fighting- with the assistance of my Local MP- for a place to rest and eat meals as well as a toilet.

I was placed on report for taking too long to have a shit and doing so too often. It went to a Disciplinary Hearing.

A Disciplinary Hearing even though I followed procedures in place.

It was thrown out when I reminded the Manager of their Duty of Care. The Shop Steward was silent; I carried out the necessary research to defend myself. I have since left that ‘Union’…

When I did return to work from a lengthy spell of sickness absence, I was given a Verbal Warning.

Verbal Warning for Work Stress.

And the cunts wonder why there is a fucking shortage of PCV Drivers?

Treat us like Human Beings rather than Units of Labour and give us decent working conditions and pay.

It’s not rocket science!


CLIT :rofl:

Sorry….I’ll get my coat….

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That has never failed to raise a grin! :grin:

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The following is not unusual:

Firstly, I’ve been (to the best of my knowledge) Covid-19 free so far. Because I take reasonable precautions.

I thoroughly clean the cab touch points before use, use antibacterial gel, wash hands regularly, etc.

Been doing that shit for years- well before C-19.

From spring 2020, TfL introduced a raft of measures to protect Bus Drivers from this; these two are relevant today:

Sealed Assault Screens with Speech Holes blocked.

Gaps of no more than 5mm around doors; hatches and panels.

These are supposed to be checked by my colleagues before taking the bus out.

Yet today, the bus didn’t have any film or tape blocking the Speech Holes. So one is in direct line of fire from the dirty cunts that spit; cough and sneeze without covering their fucking mouths…

Luckily, I have a roll of my own tape. I could have refused to drive the bus and lost mileage.

I didn’t do this.

And the colleague who was supposed to have checked the fucking thing?

I recall them saying that they’re glad I report defects and faults properly as they rely on me to get it sorted…

I’ve observed these cunts carrying out first use checks and missing really fucking obvious stuff…

Against that backdrop, I stand put and get fucked.

I said this would happen. Driver passed out due to heat last Saturday. West Croydon Bus Station is normally very busy. TfL don’t have a Risk Assessment for Hot Weather…

Could have been very nasty, especially at a crossing. The buses I was on last week were very hot, especially downstairs.

In the cab, typically the temperature is ten degrees higher than the external temperature.

I guess some drivers have ended up being hospitalised with heat stroke. I suspect provision of clean water to fill water bottles in a related issue. Especially as often drivers change routes/duties at a bus stop/not terminus.

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Organize a ‘hot driver’ protest where all drivers go to work in speedo’s. You’ll get press and in turn, air con


That’s a bloody good idea, actually! :joy::joy::joy:

Edit you probably wouldn’t want to see me in speedos though! :scream::nauseated_face:

You could get various forum members to model Speedos in bus cabins. You’d break the internet.


Now there’s an idea… Who’s in? :rofl::rofl::rofl:

There is not sufficient swarfega in the world to wrestle certain members of the forum into a small space such as a bus cabin.


Climate Control fucked. Reported in April… :joy: