Ours are also sub optimal -We have had about 6 turn red.
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Try this
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Just been looking for some big shrubs to grow to give some privacy . Was thinking Wiegela or berberis but they all seem out of stock in notcutts and said out of season. !!
What about laurel? Gas growing and easy to control.
Thats a great suggestion mick , however it is next to our neighbours huge 4-5 foot high patio and its poisonous so just a bit concerned any young children might be affected . we ruled out Laburnam for the same reason.
If you can wait some years for it to grow, evergreen Chilean guava berry. Nice (though small) fruit too.
Go leylandii with a side order of bamboo.
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We’ve got a whole load of lovely black bamboo here. Currently pushing the 7m mark I would guess.
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To really fuck your neighbours off in 5 years when they find it in their garage
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The best kind of gardening is the kind you do with a flamethrower 
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In my experience few children eat sufficient greens of any description to be poisoned. We brought up our lad with a Laburnum tree in the back garden that we hung a swing off! He also survived our laurel, black thorn, hawthorn, privet and even sprouts so I wouldn’t worry, specially if the said neighbours are the ones who are pissing you off.
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Spoken like a true 'toirist
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Did i hear an expletive there ? Bamb********* !!! Oh my gosh that stuff is evil !!
Good point mick !
Bamboo and flames can be an exciting combination due to the internal air pockets. Not enough to do a full Gorn, mind.
Been trying to dig bamboo up this week
It’s started going under the fence behind the neighbours shed
Poxy stuff
Get a panda or two