So as Admiral (after 6 months, multiple bouts of uselessness and a number of outright lies) have actually sorted out getting my car fixed, I get to have a lovely 16 reg Ford Fiesta for a few days.
The first impression is actually an impression, that of a large lump in the driver’s seat right between my shoulder blades. It is distractingly uncomfortable even for a quick trip, and I can only think that it is there to make you upgrade in the showroom (“ah, if sir wants a trim level other than medieval torture sir will need to consider the Popular Plus model”).
On the subject of dangerous stupidity, congratulations to the designer of the rear view mirror on changing the laws governing optics. They seem to have designed it so you can only ever see the middle third of the car behind you, which means blind spots bigger than a Brexit voter. I thought part of the point of a small hatch was good visibility, this is useless even with the pointless little windows behind the rear seats. Couple that with a wing mirror that can’t adjust enough to give a view parallel to the car and you might as well be driving on instruments only. Instruments that stay lit up whatever the lights are doing, idiotically.
The pedals have so little feel that the flap about in the wind, biting point is always an approximation on the clutch and lifting off the accelerator to change gear always makes the engine overrev, it has that little return spring force.
The engine? No idea which one is in the car other than being a small petrol which is economical by not actually providing any power. A hill which my car can easily get up at 30 in 4th and MrsKettle’s Passatt Bluemotion thing transporter copes with in 3rd causes this to cry at above 20mph in 2nd.
The gearstick is at least in a sensible place rather than being under your left knee (like the late 90s model), but it is hardly a thing of joy.
And the last bit of idiocy comes from the heated front windscreen. Yes, clever, but it is the same module as the Mondeo so the dash doesn’t line up with the door trims to such an extent that it covers some of the stupid quarterlight window they have.
In short, I want my car back.