Have you tried the sous vide method?
At least vegan custard didn’t raise it’s perverted fizog. A little disappointed sous vide didn’t get a look in to be honest but fuck it Hot cross buns are ripening!
,
next will be pastry free of glutens
I’m already struggling with the perverted thinking in 'Living on the Veg’s veggie bakewell tart this morning. Don’t push me over the edge pls.
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Steady. It’s only February.
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Good lord do you see how your own blinkers blind you?
Of course I don’t. The blinkers protect me from this cruel & uncaring world.
Glaze looks like monkey spunk. Enjoy
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There is great therapeutic value in watching the film frozen and running to the top of a tor Naked belting out the theme song.
Addendum: the worse the weather the better the results
there speaks the voice of experience
None of the charges were ever proven
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Made my first attempt yesterday using some proper tins I got from Amazon but the pastry was too thick and didn’t cook so tried again today using a muffin tin.
I’m shit at making pastry as my hands are hot enough to cook a fucking egg so may get the mother to make it next time.
Managed to get a faint swirl on the bottom but they took nearly 15 minutes to cook as my wanky oven only goes up to 240c
Still fucking lovely if I do say so myself.
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15 minutes and the custard still doesn’t look set
They’re still warm but it has set enough to hold it’s shape. I expect they’ll firm up more as they get cool.
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Run your wrists underneath under a cold tap before making pastry
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They looked like they were oozing. Look good though. Have you got a torch to colour the tops ?
Regardless, I’d inhale them 
Just tried one and the pastry still doesn’t taste fully cooked, my oven is fucking shite.