Two parrots were sitting on a perch. One said to the other, “Do you smell fish?”
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An old Yorkshireman is lying in his bed dying. With a very weak voice he asks:
Is my wife here?
Yes, I am here.
Are my children here?
Yes, your children are all here.
Are my grandchildren here?
Yes grandad, we are all here.
Then why is the fucking light in the kitchen still on?
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The Jewish version was
So who is minding the shop?
You can’t tell that one nowadays though. You might get accused of being anti-septic.
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Why would that annoy the Yanks?
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