The return of shit joke thread (incorporating the humour toilet) and mainly reposts of reposts of reposts

[Professor_Chaos]

I used to be a circumciser, but I missed and got the sack.

[Professor_Chaos]

What is it about being blind that makes you want to walk the dog all the time?

[Professor_Chaos]

An Irishman walks out of a bar.

[Jim]

[Adpully]

Cracker

[Wayward]

[charliechan]

You should ban yourself for that one

[malbec]

Any reference to the ginger twat should be a ban

[Wayward]

First, and last time I post a shit joke in the shit joke thread. Cunts.

[AmDismal]

I shared it with my parents, that’s how shit it is

[mickbald]

My wife’s still giggling.

[htm_1968]

@Wayward

First, and last time I post a shit joke in the shit joke thread. Cunts.

In fairness, posting the picture of Mick Hucknall in the shit joke thread is probably a worthy effort. Sadly, the additional text wasn’t helpful in the humour department. Your are right about the cunts though.

EDIT: Meanwhile this piece of antiquity has re-emerged to torment the casual humour lover:

Nicola Sturgeon was visiting a Scottish primary school and the class was in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.
The teacher asked Mrs Sturgeon if she would like to lead the discussion on the word ‘Tragedy’.

So the illustrious SNP leader asked the class for an example of a ‘Tragedy’. A little boy stood up and offered, “If ma best freen, wha’ lives on a ferm, is playin’ in the field and a tractor rins ower him and kills him, that wid be a tragedy.” “Incorrect”, said Nicola, in her best trying-not-to-sound-too-patronising-Scottish-accent, “That would be an accident.”

A little girl raised her hand, “If a school bus kerryin’ fifty children drove ow’r a cliff, killing a’body inside, that wid be a tragedy”. ‘I’m afraid not’, explained Nicola, "that’s what we would refer to as a great loss’’.

The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Nicola searched the room. “Isn’t there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?”

Finally, at the back of the room, a wee lad raised his hand and, in a quiet voice, said: “If a plane kerryin’ you and your deputy ’ wiz struck by a ‘freendly fire’ missile & blawn tae smithereens, that wid be a tragedy.” “Fantastic!” exclaimed Nicola, “and can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?”

“Weel”, says the lad, “it has tae be a tragedy, because it certainly widnae be a great loss, and it probably widnae be an accident either!”

[Wayward]

You’re.

[htm_1968]

@Wayward

You’re.

Well spotted.

[Wayward]

It’s all I saw.

[htm_1968]

@Wayward

It’s all I saw.

You are probably better off.

[J_B]

[charliechan]

[Valvebloke]

Surely if Grayling was choosing it would be someone who is neither a member of the Conservative party nor a sitting MP.

VB

[AmDismal]