If its a choice between dumb and probably I’m rooting for dumb every time 
In the dim’n’distant days of yesteryonk I used to be able to Remember Things, and thus such things were unnecessary - now I have this:
And no memory. In all possible ways reacharounds are a thing of the past. Long car is Long.
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Didn’t realise this was a thing:
Fucking hell!
The government’s new chief scientific adviser described Rishi Sunak as “Dr Death, the Chancellor”
hmmm think she’d better start updating that CV
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The guy in front of me on the train is scrolling through Twitter and his feed seems to consist entirely of gambling and boobies.
Livin’ the dream 
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It’s only a danger scroll if you give a fuck what other people think 
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Someone mention Boobies? Love 'em! 
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BBC News - Ren: Welsh rapper’s album Sick Boi is surprise number one
Amazing result for someone with no record deal. Good on him.
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A dead one 
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Juvenile starling.
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Norwegian blue.
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Had to carry out an Internet search for that!
Aha! I’ll pass this on! 
Not enough for an adequate portion?
You young uns. 
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Dodo?
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