The shit that doesn't merit its own thread (the resurrection)


When the teleconf starts with “everyone drop what you’re doing” it’s never a good sign.

Project has now moved from “top 3 worst run ever” to being a strong contender for the number one slot.


Especially on a Friday.



Apparently testing starts on Monday for The Shit That Hasn’t Been Written Yet.

Is there a facepalm emoji on here?


You have all weekend, what’s your problem?


Yes, I’m fully expecting that call at around 3pm.

Maybe I should run a sweepstakes on the exact time.


3pm, pffft, you mean 4.50pm…

The experienced contractor would spot this and have a ‘doctors’ appointment at 1pm, so you’ll be off all afternoon and not contactable.


It’s the best sign, the sign that says “four hour pub lunch”



that is almost beer o’clock - I am aiming for a pub in Liverpool Street for that time


“Checkpoint” call scheduled for 3.30.

Ahhhhm gonna win the sweepstakes, ooh yeah I’m in the money now baby.


Double your double rate as you 'have an important anniversary weekend with your beloved".


did you tell her you wanted her sauce on it?


At 3.30pm they’re going to appoint you as team leader, an informal title with absolutely fuck all benefits except responsibility for delivering everything required over the weekend to make this test happen on Monday morning. Good luck.



That actually happened to me once. At Friday lunchtime my boss came into my office in a bad mood asking about a job which had been relatively low priority up to that point. When I said it was nearly done but stalled because of other things he said he was flying to Japan on Monday and he wanted the results (glossy brochures) at his hotel on the Wednesday morning. Japan time. With same-day printing and a high-speed courier this was, just, possible. But only if we had the copy print-ready for 9am Monday. I said there wasn’t time. He said there were a lot of hours between Friday lunchtime and Monday morning. Among the things I had planned for the weekend were sorting out a complicated surprise trip for Mrs VB’s birthday, which was the weekend after. Instead my colleague and I (she was pretty much a single mum, so had to sort childcare out at a moment’s notice) had to work the whole weekend on this job. If there was a single event which tipped me over the edge into thinking “I don’t want to work here any more” then that was it.





Did he muck in and help? :stuck_out_tongue:


To be fair he was a clinical workaholic and would quite likely have spent some of his own weekend preparing for the trip. But in the end that would have been by choice.

When he left, which he did before I did, it fell to his deputy to give a speech to the whole department at the leaving do. He said “We’re going to miss you - your commitment, your drive, your vision, your political nous, your ability to punch externally above this department’s weight. But I, for one, am not going to miss your temper”. All of us who had to deal with him directly nodded.



We (the devs) pulled it in in a day.

Management congratulated themselves, instead of someone getting sacked for such an epic feat of poor planning.

We were told that they were “worried” that they would “have to” “ask” people to work the weekend.

If management did do something smart it was to hire a large team of battle-hardened contractors who have mostly seen this sort of shit before, and can chuck code over the wall pretty fast.

I think graddy crapped himself and ran away, and someone was crying in the toilets at lunch, but overall most people just rolled their eyes and got on with it.

Rant over.


Think of the missed billing