There’s this. Might end BADLY. 
I’ve had a few nights out in Aberdeen…
I know it won’t matter to most of you, but the new Sporting Life website is shit. A huge flying hoof to the nadgers of whichever cunts thought it was a good idea to kill off the old site. Wankers!
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They better fucking sort it before the festival or a lot of folks will be without a huge amount of info. My anger is huge at the moment. Bastards!
Me, for allowing myself to get down to one working computer and then for doing nothing about the situation for a year. So with a few days to go before the deadline for submitting the company’s accounts and tax return the encryption software lets go (it’s an ex-government laptop) and I am suddenly cut off from both the internet and a space to complete the finances. Fortunately I got them done and submitted via Mrs VB’s machine. I’m writing now on a new PC which I picked up yesterday and which I’ve got going this afternoon. I have to fix at least one of the others so I have a backup. Unfortunately they look pretty much like this
VB
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Did you find it in a London winebar or the 17:35 from Waterloo?
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Much duller than that I’m afraid. I’m an ex-government employee and for some perfectly good reasons they let me take my laptop with me when I left. Unfortunately, because of the carelessness you mentioned, essentially all government machines had the encryption package applied. I suspect that mine has simply reached the end of its licence period and that’s why it’s suddenly blocked me. It could well be that my ex-IT dept has been sending me warnings about this for months. To my ex-e-mail address of course 
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VB
Big bash to the goolies of those who refer to you as “yourself”.
I’ve had the misfortune of having to phone 2 call centres in the last couple of days, and the “customer services operative” in both insisted on on calling me “yourself”.
As in: “how does that sound to yourself today?” And they say it every single time they mean “you”!
It can’t be in the script, as it only ever seems to be said by certain blokes (never heard a woman say it) - presumably they think they’re being grammatically correct, whereas in actual fact, they’re coming over like a Big Dog’s Cock.
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I work with a couple of Irish people who use that expression all the time.
If that is the only annoying thing you had from two encounters with call centres then you got off lightly!
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I’l’ll have a good natured pantomime-esque ‘we’ll laugh about this in the morning’ type slap upsides my scrotal region.
I only changed a temperamental 3 port valve motorised head in a really awkward cupboard this afternoon.
Just back from the customers house after they called about an hour ago to say the heating has gone off.
I had only gone and removed the head, put it to the side and rewired THE FUCKING THING back in mistaking it for the new one. Oh how we laughed.
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That’s one to put on Check-A-Trade
BBC iPlayer can have one for being a buggy piece of crap.
I’m getting the ‘Something went wrong’ grey screen of death too often now, and this is on a Sony television less than four years old. All the other apps work faultlessly. But pause iPlayer for more than few minutes and it breaks - and that’s if you can navigate to your chosen programme in the allowed 90 seconds before the interface craps up as well.
I think someone spent too long redesigning the look of the menus at the expense of reliability. Have one BBC nobs. Didn’t want to watch your shit anyway (‘part from the snooker).
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Just like the cunts at Sporting Life
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Me, for continuing to use eBay even when I knew it would eventually end in tears.
I’m on two for two of buyers trying to extort a partial refund / name their own price after the fact, and it’s getting pretty tiresome.
I’m not going to flounce off completely, eBay is simply too useful for buying fridge spares and fake printer cartridges, but my days as a seller are over.
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Cheshire West Council highways dept for allowing a major road to have major roadworks on it and then directing the traffic to a B road with a tight width restriction to get to the M56/M6/M62. Result, major queues with traffic backing up along the M56 and the B road as a result. Oh yes, that is a great idea, arctics through a width restriction at rush hour in both directions and having to pass each other. No fucking problems there then.
The wankers are based in Sandbach nowhere near the bloody road works of course and obviously have zero knowledge of the area they cover as they either walk to work of go on their bicycles.
These are the same bloody wankers who won’t let me trim a tree which is overhanging my road, as it may mean the road being restricted for 1/2 a day. Oh yes, when it eventually breaks and falls no doubt I will get a bill or a call from them to immediately remove the tree from the road.
Is it just me that reads that and immediately thinks Bob is cramming arctic rolls somewhere dark and malodorous?
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Yes, it’s just you.
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Yep, definitely just you Adam.
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Dropbox can have one. They are about to remove the Public Folder, which is what I find most useful about their service.